605 she kids Recipes

pasta shell, shredded cheddar cheese, pepperoni, deli honey-roasted ham, plain yogurt, ranch dressing, apple cider vinegar, honey, salt and pepper

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

butter, minced onion, all-purpose flour, worcestershire sauce, salt, ground black pepper, crabmeat, flaked, milk, heavy cream

onion, chopped, margarine, all-purpose flour, margarine, whole milk, crabmeat, flaked, crab roe, ground white pepper, ground mace, milk, dry sherry

eggs, boiled and peeled, mayonnaise, white pepper, ground cayenne pepper, slightly rounded, salt, ground mustard, prepared yellow mustard, sweet pickle relish, prepared horseradish, sweet paprika (to garnish ), green olives (to garnish )

cream of mushroom soup, cream of celery soup, half-and-half, milk, sherry wine, crabmeat (better with lump ,cheaper with claw), red pepper, salt, pepper, old bay seasoning

cream of celery soup, cream of mushroom soup, backfin crab or 2 cups lump crab or 2 cups imitation crabmeat, crab roe, egg yolks (that have been hard-boiled and pushed thru sieve are a substitute for crab roe), heavy whipping cream, pepper, cream sherry, old bay seasoning, garlic granules, curry powder, crab claws (optional) or 3 crab, segments (optional), paprika, for color

milk, mace, crabmeat, flaked (fresh or frozen ), butter, light cream, soda cracker, crushed, sherry wine, cayenne pepper, salt , to taste, black pepper , to taste, fresh parsley, chopped

onion, finely chopped, crabmeat , picked over to remove shells, chopped celery, salt, pepper, mace, butter, milk, light cream, worcestershire sauce, flour mixed with 1 tblsp. water (or 1/4 cup cracker crumbs), sherry wine

fish head (preferably grouper), eyes, gills and scales removed, onion, peeled, ribs celery , including tops, salt, white pepper, water, chopped green onion with top, minced garlic, butter, chopped fresh chives, all-purpose flour, heavy cream, milk, crabmeat , picked free of shell, sherry, lemon-pepper seasoning, freshly grated parmesan cheese

whipping cream, salt, pepper, fish bouillon cubes, boiling water, unsalted butter, all-purpose flour, lemon juice, ground nutmeg, fresh crabmeat, garnish: chopped parsley, sherry (optional)

a seasoning or flavoring your kids love; ketchup barbecue sauce, soy or steak sauce, salt and freshly ground black pepper, skinless boneless, chicken breasts or chicken tenders ,cut into 1/2 inch cubes or very thin strips, unsalted butter, dried bread crumbs

habanero peppers, stemmed, orange juice, white vinegar, lemon juice, lime juice, salt, fresh ground black pepper, garlic cloves, minced, fresh ginger, minced, curry powder, ground allspice, fresh nutmeg, grated, ground cinnamon

oreo cookies, crushed, butter, melted, vanilla ice cream, chocolate , fudge spread, peanuts, cool whip, chocolate cookie crumb

unsalted butter, divided, diced carrots, diced celery, diced onions, minced garlic, sherry, all-purpose flour, crab or lobster stock, heavy cream, crab boil seasoning (recommended : old bay), crab roe , or sea urchin roe (uni), minced fresh parsley, crab meat

yellow onion, finely diced, stalks celery, finely diced, whole butter, all purpose flour, splash sherry, heavy cream, water, whole milk, salt, several dashes hot sauce, crab roe, jumbo lump crab meat, fresh chives, finely diced, scallions tops, finely diced, fine sherry

butter, flour, onions, grated, ribs of celery, grated, minced garlic, salt and pepper, mace, whole milk, cream, crystal hot sauce, worcestershire sauce, crab meat , picked over for cartilage, hard boiled egg, finely chopped, sherry, chopped parsley

butter or margarine, grated onion, salt, pepper, all-purpose flour, lump crab meat, milk, whipping cream, worcestershire sauce, sherry to taste