84 its only Recipes

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

ears of corn in the husk, chopped mixed fresh herbs such as chives , parsley, basil, sage, and tarragon, you will need 6 tbsp of lime butter sauce, garlic clove, chopped, fresh lime juice, salt, black pepper, unsalted butter, melted

water, butter, sugar, salt, flour, eggs, butter (no substitutes), sugar (extra fine if you have it), unsweetened chocolate, melted and cooled, real vanilla extract, eggs (use fresh and only large), semisweet chocolate or 2 oz bittersweet chocolate, butter

vegetable oil, onion, carrots or 2 small , sliced, stalk celery, bell pepper, bamboo shoots, strips, drained, savoy cabbage, thinly sliced (or 1/2 large head ), head bok choy, green parts only, sliced, head broccoli, cut into florets, button mushroom, sliced, zucchini , sliced into half moons, red curry paste, light coconut milk, fresh basil, cut into strips (if you can find thai basil or holy basil, use it)

vegetable oil cooking spray, unsalted butter, unsweetened chocolate, chopped, eggs, sugar (i only used 1 1/2 cups and it was very sweet), raspberry jam (i used seedless), black raspberry liqueur (such as chambord) or 3 tbsp other berry liqueur, all-purpose flour, salt, semi-sweet chocolate chips, powdered sugar

i usually make 4 or more lb of this. i am giving you the recipe per lb and adjust it accordinly., ground meat, spoonful of flour, onions, garlic, mushrooms, cream of chicken soup.(yes a must , i love mushrooms so i tried this with cream of mushroom and other cream types. something about cream of chicken that makes this the only way to make it.), sour cream(i pint per lb, but adjust to taste some like more some like less), egg noodles, cooked and drained (keep warm)

all purpose flour, s sugar, divided into 1/4-cup and 1/2 cup, lemon , zest only plus juice from 1/2 of it, butter, vanilla

chicken backs and necks, stalks of celery with leaves, chopped, carrots, chopped, onion with skin, halved and chopped, garlic in skin , smashed with knife, leek, white part only, chopped (make sure it s cleaned well), half a celery root, chopped, parsnip, chopped, fresh thyme , parsley, bay leave, peppercorns

corn muffin mix, i like to use two yellow and 1 white and i only use the jiffy brand, eggs, milk, bread , i usually just end up using 1/2 to 3/4 of it, cream of chicken soup, chopped onions, celery, mccormick poultry seasoning , i only use half of the bottle, salt and pepper, chicken broth or all of your turkey broth

thawed shrimp, white vinegar, water, salt, cayenne, i only use 2 and its spicy

green mango (make sure it s not only green outside, but pretty hard), lime, salt, cold water

jalapeno peppers , pureed in the blender, then drained, reserving 2 tbsp of juice, for sauce (if you don tsp like it hot, use only 2 jalapenos, and reserve 1 tbsp for sauce, or use 1 4 oz.), oats, uncooked, egg substitute or 1 egg, whipped, ketchup, onion, finely chopped , reserving 2 tsp. for sauce, chili powder, salt, ground beef, kraft four-cheese mexican blend cheese, shredded, ketchup, garlic powder, kraft four-cheese mexican blend cheese, shredded

olive oil, diced onion, diced roma tomato (seeds removed), shrimp, deveined, peeled and halved, cilantro, leaves only, jalapeno chiles, chopped (use only 2 if you don tsp want it spicy), shallots, minced, garlic cloves, minced, heavy whipped cream, shredded monterey jack cheese (can use less but i like it cheesy), flour tortillas

puff pastry, water, butter or margarine, all-purpose flour, eggs, seafood salad, cooked shrimp ,crabmeat or lobster(can use all 3 or choice), sliced celery, mayonnaise or miracle whip( your preference), chopped green onion, salt, black pepper, cayenne (only if you like it )

olive oil - plus a bit more, just in case..., roughly chopped garlic - more if you re a garlic fiend, red onions, roughly cut into chunks, i large aubergine (eggplant), diced, courgettes, unpeeled and sliced chunkily, button mushrooms - as many as you think looks right, fennel, roughly chopped, red bell pepper (capsicum) deseeded and cut into chunks, green bell pepper , prepared the same way, either 3 or 4 tomatoes, sliced - or cherry tomatoes instead, salt and pepper, balsamic vinegar (optional - only if you like it !), fresh parsley (optional)

baked pie crusts, sugar-free instant vanilla pudding mix, low-fat milk, pumpkin (canned is fine , just make sure it is only pumpkin), pumpkin pie spice

fresh lemon juice, fresh orange juice, extra virgin olive oil, mayonnaise, honey, minced fresh tarragon leaves (i omitted these, don tsp like them), kosher salt (it calls for 1/2 tsp, i used 1/4 tsp), torn romaine lettuce, sliced onion, great northern beans, drained and rinsed, kosher salt, to taste (i didn tsp use any , i felt it already had enough), fresh orange juice, orange marmalade, kosher salt (i used only 1/2 tsp), fresh tuna , cut into 2-inch pieces, cajun seasoning (go easy because of the salt ), vegetable oil, grape tomatoes

ground beef, bulk pork sausage, chopped bacon, chopped tomatoes, tomato sauce, red kidney beans, water, prepared ketchup, chopped garlic, cumin, chili powder, ground black pepper, sugar, bell peppers, medium chopped, spanish onions, fine chopped, jalapeno peppers , seeds and veins removed diced fine, dried chili pepper flakes (optional only if you like it hot !!!), worcestershire sauce