9453 gluten fashioned christmas Recipes

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

gluten free flour (featherlite from blue chip bakery.), gluten free baking powder (bob s red mill.), xanthan gum (blue chip bakery), granulated sugar (kirkland), unsweetened almond milk (blue diamond natural), eggs, unsalted butter, melted, gluten free vanilla (kirkland), gluten free walnuts (kirkland), gluten free chocolate chips (tropical source), spray oil (we use extra virgin olive oil in a misto sprayer.)

gluten-free baking mix , bisquick, seltzer water (more if needed) or 3/4 cup gluten-free beer (more if needed), old bay seasoning, garlic powder, onion salt, fish fillets, cut in half lengthwise, gluten-free baking mix , for dusting fish (bisquick), oil (for frying )

gluten-free flour ( blend), guar gum or 1/2 tsp xanthan gum, baking powder, salt, sugar, milk, eggs, cooking oil

gluten-free cornbread, cut into, links gluten-free sausage (pork, turkey , chicken), pierced with a fork, simmered in hot water for ten, minutes, olive oil, onion, diced, carrots, peeled and diced, stalks celery, diced, garlic, minced, apple, peeled and diced, gluten-free chicken broth, salt and pepper, to taste

gluten-free all purpose baking flour (such as bob s red mill), cornstarch, unsweetened cocoa powder, gluten-free baking powder, butter, softened, avocado - peeled, pitted, and pureed, applesauce, white sugar, white vinegar, buttermilk, vanilla extract, eggs, separated, cream of tartar, red food coloring, as desired (optional)

gluten-free bread (such as udi s millet-chia bread), olive oil, onions, diced, stalks celery, diced, chopped fresh sage, dried thyme leaves, salt, ground black pepper to taste, gluten-free chicken broth, eggs

gluten-free flour, buckwheat flour, gluten free baking powder, salt, sugar, egg whites, reduced-fat milk, vegetable oil, sesame seeds

gluten-free flour, mix, dry gluten-free breadcrumbs (plain or unflavored), salt, dried parsley flakes, garlic powder, onion powder, dried oregano, dried basil, ground black pepper, eggs, milk, whole milk mozzarella cheese , cut into 3/4 inch x 3/4 inch strips or 1 lb mozzarella string cheese, each stick cut in half, canola oil, for frying, jarred marinara sauce

gluten-free pasta , spaghetti, broken in 1 inch pieces, grain white rice, butter, olive oil, onion, chopped fine, carrots, chopped fine, celery ribs, chopped fine, zucchini, chopped fine (optional), sea salt, gluten-free chicken stock, poultry seasoning, bay leaves, black pepper, chicken breasts, chopped into bite size pieces, spinach, chopped (optional)

gluten-free pasta (i like tinkyada), butter, chicken breast, cut into bite size pieces, cream of mushroom soup (progresso is gluten free), parmesan cheese, ground black pepper

gluten-free flour (gluten free flour - lw blend), brown sugar, cinnamon, gluten free baking powder, xanthan gum, baking soda, salt, butter or 7 tbsp margarine, cut into pieces, cold water, honey, vanilla

gluten-free quick oats (bob s red mill makes some), milk, eggs, salt, vanilla, scoops vanilla whey protein powder (make sure it is gluten-free, i used spirutein vanilla whey), cinnamon , depending on your taste (it helps stabilize your blood sugar), brown sugar (more if you like them really sweet) or 1/3 cup honey (more if you like them really sweet)

suet, ground (beef fat), raisins, ground, gluten-free flour (a blend with xanthan gum), baking soda, sugar, salt, sour milk (or 1/2 tbsp white distilled vinegar with enough milk to make a 1/2 cup), egg, sugar, cornstarch, nutmeg, butter, white distilled vinegar, water

gluten free oats, ground, gluten free old fashioned oats, gluten free rice flour, tapioca starch, baking soda, cream of tartar, salt, cinnamon, xanthan gum, brown sugar, dried cranberries, chopped pecans, eggs, beaten, vanilla, buttermilk or 1 cup soymilk, apple cider vinegar, vegetable oil

gluten-free flour (see gluten free flour blend), xanthan gum or 1/2 tsp guar gum, chopped walnuts, salt, ground flax seeds, ground chia seeds, butter, baking cocoa or 1/4 cup carob powder, eggs , beaten until frothy, brown sugar, pure vanilla extract, soft butter, boiling water, icing sugar, cocoa, drops peppermint extract

gluten-free oats, rice bran, water, eggs, coconut oil (melted ), maple syrup or 2 tbsp honey, apple cider vinegar, pumpkin puree, gluten-free flour (bob s), flax seed meal, xanthan gum, sea salt, yeast

gluten free penne pasta, olive oil, scallions, finely sliced, red chili peppers, de-seeded and cut into small strips, tomatoes, salmon fillets, skinned and cut into dice around 1/2 inch square, frozen shrimp , do not defrost ahead of time, allow them to defrost in the dish for maximum flavour, coconut milk, lemon , juice only, salt and pepper, gluten-free bread , crumbed