3304 christmas portobello Recipes

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

portobello mushrooms, thinly sliced, butter, port wine, sour cream, cornstarch, salt and ground black pepper to taste

portobello mushrooms, onion, sliced 1/4 inch thick, balsamic vinegar, eggplant, sliced into 1/2 inch rounds, tomato, sliced 1/2 inch thick, provolone cheese

portobello mushroom, tomato paste, capsicum, spring onion, tomato, garlic, olive, olive oil, chicken breast, cheese

portobello mushroom caps, red bell peppers, seeded and halved, red onion , cut into 1/2-inch slices, cooking spray (garlic flavored works great ), hamburger buns, avocados, peeled and sliced, avocado, peeled and chopped, mayonnaise, lemon juice, garlic clove, minced, fresh basil leaf

portobello mushroom caps, cleaned, olive oil, salt & freshly ground black pepper, mayonnaise, prepared pesto sauce, coarse grain mustard, hamburger buns, split, buttered, and toasted, baby arugula, roasted red peppers, drained

portobello mushroom caps, garlic clove, crushed, olive oil, tomato , bruschetta chunky, part-skim mozzarella cheese, grated

portobello mushrooms - with stems (sice stems and reserve for later), tomato juice, balsamic vinegar, chopped garlic, red onion diced, eggplant, basil chopped, israeli couscous, water, feta cheese crumbled, organic tomatoes sliced, salad greens

applewood-smoked bacon, chopped into 1/2-inch pieces, low-salt chicken broth, chopped fresh thyme, short-grain brown rice, wild rice, unsalted butter, at room temperature, extra-virgin olive oil, frozen pearl onions, thawed, kosher salt, freshly ground black pepper, portobello mushrooms, shredded or thinly sliced, brussels sprouts, trimmed and thinly sliced, hazelnuts, toasted, husked, coarsely chopped , optional

portobello mushrooms, stems removed, extra-virgin olive oil, anchovy paste, balsamic vinegar, dried thyme, crumbled, generous 4 cups trimmed arugula, washed and spun dry, juice of 1/2 small lemon, coarse sea salt and freshly ground black pepper, a 4-oz chunk of parmigiano-reggiano for shaving

portobello mushroom cap, stem removed, part-skim ricotta cheese, chicken link sausage , preferably spicy italian variety, garlic powder, oregano

portobello mushrooms, extra virgin olive oil, plus additional for coating pan, sea salt, freshly ground black pepper, zucchini, sliced 1/4 inch thick, eggplants, provolone cheese, thinly sliced, bell pepper, quartered (roasted red or yellow), mozzarella cheese, thinly sliced

portobello mushroom caps, stemmed and cleaned, balsamic vinegar, olive oil, minced garlic, fresh basil, feta cheese, grated provolone cheese, cambozola cheese, whole grain buns, olive tapenade, roasted peppers, jarred, drained, arugula mixed sprouts (or greens of your choice), tomato , slices, red onion , slices

portobello mushroom tops, stems removed and gills scraped, extra-virgin olive oil , for liberal drizzling plus 1 tbsp, salt and freshly ground black pepper, italian sweet sausage, grape tomatoes, cream, basil leaves, shredded or torn, shredded parmigiano

portobello mushrooms, stems removed, olive oil for grilling, salt and pepper, balsamic vinegar, sized yukon gold potatoes, butter, heavy cream, scallions sliced thin, approximately 1/2 cup, chopped garlic, balsamic vinegar, ears of corn, mesclun greens for garnish, red onion sliced very thin, chives, cut into 2-inch sticks

portobello mushroom caps, sliced (1 to 1 1/2 per person ), extra-virgin olive oil (enough to coat while tossing), garlic powder, lime , to squeeze over mushrooms while grilling, salt, white onion, chopped, tomatoes, chopped, jalapeno peppers, chopped, salt, flour tortillas, radishes, thinly sliced

portobello mushrooms, cleaned, stems removed, fresh spinach (1/2 a bag) chopped, thick-sliced bacon, chopped, red onion, finely diced, red bell pepper, finely diced, garlic, minced, provolone cheese, finely diced, hot shot , a hefty sprinkle, shredded mozzarella cheese

portobello mushrooms, extra virgin olive oil, butter, mixed fresh mushrooms coarsely chopped, heavy cream, dry sherry, balsamic vinegar