546 me whout Recipes

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

milk, lukewarm water, butter, salt, sugar, special dry milk or nonfat dry milk, potato flour or heaping 3/4 cup potato flakes, king arthur unbleached all-purpose flour, king arthur 100% organic white whole wheat flour, instant yeast, use all-purpose flour exclusively, if you like ; but believe me, your family will never notice the substitution of a cup of organic white whole wheat flour for part of the all-purpose

leftover steak , any meat will do really, yellow bell pepper , again its what i had any will do, red onion, mushrooms , i had leftover baby bella so its what i used, mexi cheese, spicy tomatoes or salsa, most salsa is to thick for me, i like it lite, baby spinach , your greens should be healthy too

good grade fresh strawberries , washed and stem removed, vanilla ice cream mixed with cream cheese or kulfi ice cream ...., some golden strings and plastic wraps

skinless, boneless chicken breasts, smoked ham, shredded gruyere cheese, julienned carrots, julienned zucchini, vegetable oil

butter cake mix, sour cream, vegetable oil, ground cinnamon, brown sugar, chopped pecans, white sugar, sugar, milk, eggs, water

butter cake mix, sour cream, vegetable oil, white sugar, water, eggs, chopped pecans, brown sugar, ground cinnamon, sugar, milk

all-purpose flour, baking soda, salt, butter, white sugar, eggs, sour cream, vanilla extract, ground cinnamon, brown sugar, chopped pecans

butter, semisweet chocolate chips, eggs, vanilla extract, white sugar, all-purpose flour

butter cake mix, eggs, sour cream, vanilla extract, white sugar, vegetable oil, chopped pecans, butter, white sugar, buttermilk, baking soda, ground cinnamon, brown sugar

yellow cake mix, white sugar, vegetable oil, eggs, chopped pecans, vanilla extract, sour cream, brown sugar, ground cinnamon

cake, milk, drops apple cider vinegar, white sugar, brown sugar, vegetable oil, butter, melted, vanilla extract, canned pumpkin puree, all-purpose flour, rolled oats, baking powder, baking soda, ground cinnamon, ground nutmeg, chopped walnuts, cream cheese frosting, ground cinnamon

whole orange, with peel, raisins, chopped walnuts, all-purpose flour, white sugar, baking soda, salt, milk, shortening, eggs, white sugar, ground cinnamon, chopped walnuts, orange, sliced in rounds

olive oil, chopped onion, garlic, crushed, chopped yellow bell pepper, ground cumin, hot paprika, chile powder, white sugar, salt, stewed tomatoes, kidney beans, drained, black beans, drained, cannellini beans, tomato paste, balsamic vinegar, chopped fresh cilantro

corned beef, fresh ground black pepper, dried thyme, bay leaf, sliced carrots, roughly sliced, golden onions, sliced, celery ribs, sliced, fresh beets (optional), potatoes , cut into pieces, parsnips, cut into pieces (i know . stick with me. trust me.), turnip, cut into pieces. ditto about the parsnips, green cabbage, quartered

vegetable oil or 3 cups olive oil, garlic cloves, crushed, vinegar, potatoes, boiled and mashed or 2 1/2 cups moist breadcrumbs, salt and pepper

chicken, cut in pieces, egg whites (whole eggs for me) or 1 whole egg (whole eggs for me), seasoned bread crumbs (panko definitely) or 1 cup panko breadcrumbs (panko definitely), flour, freshly chopped parsley, garlic powder, onion powder, paprika (optional), flour, salt and pepper

grape leaves , pull out 1 bunch and rinse well and pat dry, dozen of under 20 count shrimp, peeled and deveined, tails off, x 1 x 1 chunks of smoked mozzarella cheese or thick sticks of, feta (too salty for me) or a red pepper jack cheese( my favorite), lemon juiced, grated rind of 1 lemon (1/2 tsp or less ), extra virgin olive oil, unsalted butter, generous pinch of red pepper flakes