886 kids cheez Recipes

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

dip ingredients, plain yogurt, honey, dippers ingredients, your favorite fresh fruit, cut into 1-inch pieces (bananas , apples, strawberries, mandarin orange segments, grapes, pears, pineapple, etc.), cheddar cheese, cubed, thick) slice swiss cheese, cubed

velveeta (32oz), refried beans (14.5oz), tub sour cream (24oz), your favorite salsa, milk (little more, little less, depending on how thick/thin you like it), cayenne pepper (more or less , depending on how spicy you like it), light chili powder(again, more or less , depending on the spiciness), bottled hot sauce (i prefer cholula brand), diced green onions, chips for dipping (i prefer fritos, my kids like white corn chips)

fresh baby asparagus (you ll need about 18 stalks depending upon size), chopped scallions (2 or 3 stalks ) or 1/3 cup fresh sliced chives, slightly beaten eggs, flour, half-n-half , light cream or milk, frozen spinach - drained really well of its water and thawed, shredded cheese , use a combination of two or more cheeses such as goat, swiss and gouda or swiss, cheddar and monteray jack for some pizazz., pie crust (pre-made ok to use...so it s ok to cheat on this step my peeps), salt, fresh cracked pepper, garlic powder, nutmeg (preferably fresh if possible), homemade rustic pastry shell, flour, salt, chilled shortening, butter, freshly grated parmasean cheese, equipment needed : 1 working oven at 450 to start, fresh chicken eggs just laid (just kidding), bag of dried beans out of their plastic, tin foil to help with baking pie shell blind (not you but the pie shell of course), steamer for asparagus, couple of bowls to make work easier and a cookie sheet to make clean up easier by placing cookie sheet under pastry shell when baking quiche in avoiding any spills that may occur.

wheat flour, all purpose flour, baking soda, sea salt, egg, skim milk, olive oil

carrots, peeled and cut into coins, salt and pepper to taste, butter

baked cheddar broccoli rice cups, thanks to fountain ave. grill: http://fountainavenuekitchen.com/baked-cheddar-broccoli-rice-cups, simple to whip up with ingredients you have on hand, this side is a sure kid-pleaser that adults will enjoy as well. i employ 1 of my favorite kitchen tricks with this recipe: any time i use frozen broccoli or spinach that needs to be thawed and drained well, i put it inside a tea towel and literally wring it out. you will be surprised by how much water is released, and getting rid of it will prevent your finished product from becoming soggy., vary the cheese if you like or bake in a casserole dish or jumbo muffins tins. for my better-for-you ranch dressing, quick-cooking rice , like minute rice (can substitute about 2 cups regular, cooked rice and omit the 1 cup stock below), chicken stock, frozen, chopped broccoli, thawed and excess water squeezed out, shredded cheddar cheese, divided, homemade ranch dressing (see recipe), or store bought, eggs, lightly beaten, salt and freshly ground pepper to taste, low-fat buttermilk, chobani 2% plain yogurt, mayonnaise, apple cider vinegar, canola or olive oil, kosher salt and freshly ground pepper to taste, minced chives, whisk all ingredients together ., dressing will keep for a week or so, covered, in the refrigerator., if you prefer a thicker dressing , use approximately 1/4 cup of buttermilk depending on your personal preference and intended use.

biscuit pockets, separate biscuits from 1 can (17 1/3 oz.) refrigerated southern style biscuits. press each to flatten into a 4 inch round. place 4 rounds on a cookie sheet. top with about 1/2 cup filling(suggestions follow). brush edges with water, then top each with another round. press edges with tines of a fork to seal. bake in a 375 degree oven 12-18 minutes, until golden brown., diced corned beef , 1/2 cup shredded swiss cheese, 1/2 cup sauerkraut and thousand island dressing., shredded cooked pork or beef mixed with your favorite bbq sauce, to moisten., diced smoked sausage , 1 cup part skim ricotta cheese, 1/4 cup sliced scallions, 1/2 tsp dried thyme and 1/8 tsp crushed red pepper.

pretzels, bakiing chocolate (i use german chocolate), sprinkles

eggs, flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, vegetable oil, sugar, mashed bananas (about 3 bananas)

flour, fine salt, sweetened evaporated milk, light fresh fallen snow

peanut butter of your choice, hot cooked pancakes, bananas , halved lengthwise, then crosswise

pizza dough already made, low fat ricotta cheese, low fat parmesean cheese shredded, brocalli chopped up, olive oil

pinto beans, lean bacon chopped small, chopped red ripe tomato, onion small chop, green pepper chopped, serrono pepper fine chop (i use less is kids are eating), garlic chopped, good chile powder, cumin, salt to taste, pepper to taste, clintro chopped fine

zucchini squash, onion, chopped, fresh tomatoes, sliced, olive oil, low-fat cottage cheese, liquid drained off top, basil, oregano, shredded parmesan cheese