Soak noodles in hot water until slightly limp; drain and set aside. In a medium bowl, combine fish sauce, soy sauce, tamarind(or other) juice, vinegar, sugar, and radish; stir until sugar is dissolved and then set aside. Prepare and measure all of the other ingredients before beginning to cook.
Heat oil in a wok or large skillet over high heat. When oil is hot, working quickly, add garlic, mushrooms, and greens, lower heat slightly, and saute until mushrooms are about halfway done, about 5-8 minutes. Add cayenne pepper and paprika and toss to combine. Add noodles and radish mixture and toss well. Add bean sprouts and tofu and toss. Add peanuts and scallions and toss. When all the ingredients are heated through, remove from heat. Garnish with shredded eggs, lime wedges, and cilantro if desired. Serve immediately.