92 max erma jay Recipes

cooked long-grain rice (for uncooked rice, see step 1), vegetable oil, coarsely chopped garlic, onion, finely chopped, fresh ground black pepper, green beans, diced, fresh or frozen corn kernels, soy sauce, thai green curry paste, scallions, cucumber, peeled,sliced in half ,and with seeds removed if they are watery, lime

orange juice, banana, peeled, frozen strawberries, frozen peaches, vanilla whey protein powder (i use jay robb brand)

beef, chopped, oil, onion, diced finely, garlic cloves, minced, string bean, cut in 1/4 inch slices, blanched, eggs, beaten, cornstarch, water, beef stock, rice, cooked

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

red onions, finely chopped, a dash of peanut or olive oil, shrimp (deveined ), or calamari (cleaned and sliced) or chicken or pork (thinly sliced), an egg, a small handful of thai rice noodles, a cup (m x) of chicken stock or w ter, glugs of fish sauce, a heaping tbsp tamarind sauce, palm sugar or unrefined caster sugar, a pinch or 2 of crushed red chile fl kes, a handful of bean sprouts, scallions, cut into 3-inch sticks, raw cashews, coarsely chopped, fresh lime wedges and cucumber slices

frozen battered fish fillets, flour tortillas, head green cabbage, chopped fresh cilantro, green onion, sliced or minced, chopped jalapenos or 1 tsp serrano chili, to taste, mayonnaise, fresh lime juice, cumin seeds or 1/4 tsp ground cumin, salt and pepper, to taste

cherry gelatin (or other colour), lemon gelatin, crushed pineapple, dream whip, philadelphia cream cheese

bread, butter, bacon, egg, tomato, swiss cheese, grated, pepper

oatmeal, water, raisins, fiber 1 cereal, pumpkin puree, wheat germ, flax seeds, finely ground, cinnamon, banana, sliced

potatoes, onion, thinly sliced, salt , seasoning, pepper , couple grinds per layer, flour , depending on number of potatoes up to 3 tbsps, butter or 3 tbsp margarine, milk, hot (i prefer 1.5 cups at max.), grated cheese , sharp cheddar

cooking oil (i use corn), onions (depends how much onion you have or want to use but 2 is the max), beef mince, canned tomatoes, tomato paste, oregano, thyme, basil (i normally add a lot more herbs, about double the stated amount), salt and pepper (to taste)

whole flour, light brown sugar, grape nuts cereal, i use the store brand, baking powder, bacon, cooked and crumbled , my candied bacon works great here, or you could use finely chopped ham even, egg, butter, frozen orange juice concentrate, undiluted ; if using pinapple chunks use pineapple juice here, vanilla, you might want to add some chunks of pineapple, dried apples or dried cherries or a little of all if you like that sort of thing, if batter is too thick , i thin it with some plain or strawberry yogurt, i have been known to throw in a 1/2 cup of shredded cheese when i have it ready also

honey or molasses, applesauce, unsweetened, skim milk , or make up instant milk (to liquid form) and use it, eggs, vegetable oil, vanilla extract, dark brown sugar, whole-wheat flour, baking powder, all-purpose flour, baking soda, chocolate chips , or any flavor really that which you like best, nuts , i prefer pecans or hazel (whatever you like best), oats (quick-cooking or old-fashioned), dried cereal , like corn flakes, i use ones high in fiber, raisins , dried cherries, or other dried fruit (again whatever you like best)

scoop vanilla protein powder , i use jay robb whey, pumpkin puree, unsweetened, salt, pumpkin pie spice , to taste, soymilk, fat-free cool whip, ice cubes , if desired

butter or 1/4 cup coconut oil, egg (or replacer), stevia truvia (i use palm sugar), blanched almond flour, jay robb vanilla whey protein (soy or rice), celtic sea salt, baking soda, cinnamon (optional)

canned sweet potatoes, sugar, reduced-calorie margarine, egg whites, beaten, vanilla, low-fat milk, oatmeal, reduced-calorie margarine, brown sugar, cinnamon