143938 little horner christmas chicken fruit stuffing Recipes

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

bone center-cut pork rib roast , bones frenched, roast well trimmed (about 2 lb), whole dried apricots, whole pitted prunes, corn oil, dried marjoram, onion, coarsely chopped, carrots, coarsely chopped, garlic cloves, peeled, butter, room temperature, all purpose flour, dijon mustard, coarse-grained dijon mustard, low-salt chicken broth, dry white wine

sugar substitute, cornstarch, ground cinnamon, ground nutmeg, apple cider or juice, dried mixed fruit, chopped, margarine, tart baking apples

firm white bread , cut into 3/4-inch pieces, unsalted butter, granny smith apples, peeled, cored and cut into 3/4-inch pieces, stalks celery with leaves, chopped, chopped onion, golden raisins, chicken broth, plus extra, chopped flat-leaf parsley, salt and pepper

butter, cubed, chopped onion, chopped celery, cubed day-old bread, dried fruit bits, water, ground allspice, cornish game hen (20 to 24 oz each), salt, pepper, butter, melted, honey

chicken breast fillets, diced, mushroom, roughly chopped, onion, finely diced, spaghetti, chicken stock, basil leaves, salt, pepper

chicken breasts (or your choice of chicken pieces), onion, coarsely chopped, angel hair pasta, fresh sliced mushrooms (a little more at our house, can also use canned mushroom pieces in a pinch), butter or 4 tbsp margarine, garlic powder, salt and pepper, velveeta cheese, cubed, low-fat cream of mushroom soup, grated sharp cheddar cheese

olive oil, onions, sliced, skinless chicken thighs, all-purpose flour, seasoned with a little, salt and pepper, chicken broth, orange , zest of, grated, oranges , juice of, sherry wine, worcestershire sauce, button mushrooms, sliced, fresh parsley, chopped, salt and pepper

coarsely chopped walnuts, whole chicken, salt and pepper, to taste, italian-style salad dressing, butter, melted, grated orange zest, grated lemon zest, dried basil , or to taste, dried thyme , or to taste, butter, apple, cored and chopped, pear, cored and chopped, pineapple chunks, drained, cubed french bread, pitted prunes, chopped, seedless grapes, halved, italian-style salad dressing, orange juice, apple cider, grated orange zest, honey, ground cinnamon

rack of lamb, fat cap removed , frenched, extra virgin olive oil, dijon mustard, salt, fresh ground black pepper, fresh thyme leave, chopped, fresh rosemary leaf, chopped, fresh sage leaf, chopped, fresh parsley leaves, chopped, minced garlic, port wine, lamb stock or 1 cup veal stock or 1 cup chicken stock, unsalted butter, onion, finely chopped, celery, finely chopped, dried apricot, finely chopped, golden raisin, dried prune, finely chopped, fresh mint leaves, chopped, ground walnuts, plain breadcrumbs or 1 cup crushed corn flakes, extra virgin olive oil, minced garlic, onion, finely chopped, port wine, veal stock or 1 cup lamb stock or 1 cup chicken stock, walnuts, ground very fine, sage, chopped, salt, ground black pepper, cold butter

whole turkey , neck and giblets removed, skinless, boneless chicken thighs, cut into chunks, minced garlic, minced fresh ginger, extra-virgin olive oil, hawaiian sweet bread, cut into 1-inch cubes, golden raisins, dark raisins, dried cherries, dried cranberries, dried currants, diced celery, hard apple cider (see cook s note), kitchen twine, extra-virgin olive oil , or as needed

vegetable oil, onion, chopped, stalk celery, chopped, garlic, minced, breadcrumbs or 2 1/2 cups croutons, chopped mixed dried fruit, chopped fresh parsley

bone center-cut pork rib roast , bones frenched,roast well trimmed, whole dried apricots, whole pitted prunes, corn oil, dried marjoram, onion, coarsely chopped, carrots, coarsely chopped, garlic, peeled, butter, room temperature, all-purpose flour, dijon mustard, coarse-grained dijon mustard, low sodium chicken broth, dry white wine

dried apricot halves, dried figs, golden raisins, apple juice, chicken broth, low sodium, fresh sage leaves, butter, ground ginger, garlic cloves, lemon juice, salt and pepper, to taste, pork loin, boneless, vegetable oil, fresh herbs , such as parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme

pork tenderloin, pack dried mixed fruit, coarsely chopped, olive oil, coarsely chopped fresh rosemary leaves, coarsely chopped fresh thyme leaves, garlic cloves, finely chopped, kosher salt, cracked peppercorns, parsley, for garnish, water, grits, butter, milk, divided, grated cheddar, plus more if desired, salt and freshly ground black pepper, all-purpose flour, eggs , for egg wash, panko (japanese-style bread crumbs), oil, for frying, fresh blueberries, plus extra for garnish, sugar, grated lemon peel, grated orange peel

vegetable broth, divided, chopped mixed dried fruit, minced shallots, divided, minced garlic, olive oil, divided, italian-seasoned breadcrumbs, pork tenderloin, salt, pepper, fresh sage leaves, shiitake mushrooms, thinly sliced, dry red wine, salt, pepper

chicken breasts or 1 whole chicken, shredded off bones, salt (i like a little more ), pepper (i prefer fresh ground ), green onions, chopped, bell pepper, chopped small, shaved honey-roasted ham (i use 1/2 lb with whole chicken), lasagna noodle , 1 box, spaghetti sauce , 1 can of your favorit, swiss cheese , 1 package, cheddar cheese , 1 package

stuffed french toast, toasting white bread, cream cheese, fruit preserves (strawberry, blueberry, or raspberry), eggs, heavy cream, cinnamon, vanilla, sugar, salt, corn flakes, crushed, butter