3820 joani what call this Recipes

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christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

butter beans, rinsed and drained, tomatoes, halved, red onion, chopped, yellow squash, diced, zucchini, diced, fresh cilantro, minced, olive oil, lemon juice, cumin, ground, salt

pomegranate, water, empty, sharp knife, slotted spoon, strainer

butter, lean ground beef, onion, chopped, salt, ground black pepper, paprika, chili powder

oil, onions, chopped, garlic cloves, chopped, lean ground beef, whole tomatoes, beef stock mix, water, paprika, orange bell peppers, chopped, potatoes, cubed

ground beef, onion, chopped, cheddar cheese, shredded, pork and beans, barbecue sauce, biscuits , premade, french-fried onions

chicken breast halves, cut in bite sized pieces, chopped onion, chopped green pepper, sliced mushrooms (drained ), seasoning salt, black pepper, cream of chicken soup, milk, butter (chef s choice) or 1/3 cup margarine (chef s choice), uncooked instant rice, water

cooked yam (this is not what the americans sweet potato ), onion grated, marg, milk, eggs separated, grated cheese, salt & pepper to taste

certified angus beef eye round, fresh (original recipe calls for any type of roasting beef), garlic salt, dehydrated onion, garlic powder, black pepper, white pepper (optional), paprika, peas and carrots (original recipe calls for fresh carrots and ), black beans, tomato sauce or 1/2 cup tomato paste, salsa, marsala wine, vegetable broth (your choice ) or 1 (14 oz) can beef broth (your choice), burgundy wine, potatoes (if you like , you can use either, see instructions below) or 5 -6 small red (if you like , you can use either, see instructions below)

lentils (calls for 1 lb ground beef in the cookbook), sea salt, pepper, ground nutmeg, ground ginger, cornstarch (or potato flour), plain unsweetened soymilk (approx, see directions ), plain unsweetened soymilk, cornstarch (originally called for flour but is better for this imo), salt and pepper, to taste, onions, finely chopped

stewing beef, cut into 2 . 5cm-3cm cubes (in australia they call this boneless shin or gravy beef), oil, whole baby onions, peeled, garlic cloves, peeled, plain flour, beef stock, shake worcestershire sauce, shake soy sauce, ale or 1 (375 ml) bottle beer or 1 (440 ml) can guinness stout, brown sugar

pork shoulder , from any marketplace, olive oil, minced fresh garlic cloves, soy sauce, apple cider vinegar, brown sugar, raisins, tomato, diced, dried shrimp paste , compliments this dish very well (available at any oriental market)

chocolate cake mix, water, oil, whole eggs, allspice, cinnamon, quick-cooking oatmeal , to thicken the batter.

warm water, teas. salt, tables. vegetable shortening, yeast (dry ), flour ,about, tables sugar, cabbage ,shredded ,simmered in the 4 tables shortening, add to cabbage and simmer till done

reduced-sodium beef broth (1 big tetra-pac), minced ginger, minced garlic, minced shallot, ground meat (your choice ), dried black mushrooms (soaked in hot water for 30 minutes,de-stemmed and sliced), tree ears, soaked and shredded, dried lily buds, soaked, trimmed and cut in half, shredded bamboo shoot, shredded carrot (pre-shredded from a bag), cellophane noodles, soaked, drained and cut into 2-inch lengths . (2 pouches, each pouch is twinky-size), mushroom soy sauce, black vinegar (or more ), mirin or 1 tbsp sherry wine, white pepper, ground, chili oil (the kind with the seeds and bits floating on the bottom-shake it up before using), green onion, chopped (for garnish )

this came to mind while i was working on another recipe, it works for me., spinach and bacon pasta, bacon (peppered or any you like will work) pancetta, italian is also good). drain grease., fresh spinach ( variation 1 box frozen chopped spinach, well drained; can work), garlic chopped, chopped onion, butter or margarine, egg noodles , bow tie pasta or a similar noodle of your choice., heavy cream ( called whipping cream in stores), grated parmesan cheese, pepper, coarse ground if desired