11117 divinity old christmas Recipes

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

christmas pudding, brandy, melted dark cooking chocolate, melted white chocolate

old bay seasoning, salt, water, beer, red potatoes, cut in quarters, vidalia onions, cut in wedges, smoked sausage, cut in 2 inch lengths, ears frozen corn on the cob, thawed (i use birdseye little ears), shrimp, in shells

old bay seasoning, dried oregano leaves, garlic powder, onion powder, chili powder, olive oil, lemon juice, shrimp, peeled and deveined, angel hair pasta, cooked

old bay seasoning, baking powder, salt, chicken wings , cut into drumettes and flats, unsalted butter, melted, red hot sauce, worcestershire sauce

old fashioned carrot cake, frozen sliced carrots, sugar, vegetable oil, eggs beaten, all-purpose flour, baking soda, cinnamon, salt, chopped pecans (divided ), preheat oven to 350 degrees. grease and flour a 9x13-inch baking pan. cook carrots according to the package directions until tender. drain and mash carrots in a large bowl. add sugar,oil and eggs; beat well., next mix flour , baking soda, cinnamon and salt in a seperate bowl; mix well. beat these ingredients into the carrot mixture. stir in 1/2 cup of pecans. pour batter into pan. bake for 40 minutes. let cake cool in the pan on a wire rack., butter or margerine, softened, cream cheese softened, vanilla extract, confectioners sugar (powdered sugar)

old yellow cucumber, washed, sliced in big chunks and seeds removed., dried octopus , cut into pieces, red dates, stoned, pork ribs, water, salt to taste

divinity frosting, sour cream cake layers (using 8-inch round cakepans), toasted pecan halves (optional), divinity candy (optional), sugared maraschino cherries and mint sprigs (optional), candy canes (optional)

oats (quick or old fashioned, uncooked), shredded coconut, chopped pecans, honey, raw unsalted sunflower seeds (optional), butter or 1/4 cup margarine, melted, grated orange peel, vanilla, ground cinnamon, salt (optional), dried cranberries

quaker oats (quick or old fashioned, uncooked), shredded coconut, pecans, chopped, honey, sunflower seeds, raw, unsalted, butter, melted (margarine, ok), orange zest, vanilla extract, ground cinnamon, salt (optional), dried cranberries (about a 6 oz package)

butter, divided, all-purpose flour, milk, old cheddar cheese, shredded, salt, ground black pepper, smoked ham, diced, eggs, parsley, minced, chives, minced, dried thyme, sheets phyllo pastry, parmesan cheese, grated

day-old bread cubes, crust removed, tart apples, peeled and chopped, dried cranberries or raisins, egg yolks, eggs, heavy whipping cream, milk, sugar, heavy whipping cream, sugar, vanilla or rum extract, ground cinnamon and nutmeg

sugar, light corn syrup, water, egg whites, salt, vanilla, chopped walnuts

christmas plum pudding, milk, double cream, vanilla ice cream, brandy

christmas honey fruit drops, mixed chopped candied fruits and peels , chopped candied cherries, raisins, and chopped pecans, bourbon, brown sugar, honey, butter or margarine, eggs, all purpose flour, baking soda, ground cinnamon, ground nutmeg, baking powder, dairy sour cream, combine fruits , nuts, and bourbon. cover, let stand several hours. in mixer bowl cream sugar, honey, and butter or margarine. beat in eggs. mix dry ingredients. add to creamed mixture alternately with sour cream. stir fruit mixture into creamed mixture. drop by tsp onto greased cookie sheet. bake in 350 degree oven for 10 to 12 minutes. cool on wire rack. frost, if desired. makes about 5 dozen cookies.

old-fashioned oatmeal, nonfat milk, white vinegar, unsalted butter, splenda sugar blend for baking, molasses, egg, all-purpose flour, whole wheat flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt

old-fashioned oatmeal, milk , plus more if needed, sugar, vanilla extract , optional

bulk sausage browned for 5 minutes, sliced mushrooms, onions, eggs lightly beaton, milk, day old italian bread cut into small slices, swiss cheese shredded