51 christmas morning Recipes

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

rum (santa teresa recommended), sherry wine (pedro ximenez), lemon juice, agave simple syrup (equal parts agave syrup and water), egg white, bitters (fee brothers whiskey barrel recommended), freshly grated nutmeg

white bread, eggs, beaten, milk, cheddar cheese, shredded, salt and pepper, bacon, fried and crumbled

frozen dinner rolls, butterscotch pudding mix (not instant ), butter, brown sugar, cinnamon, chopped nuts

brown sugar, ground cinnamon, ground nutmeg, granny smith apples - peeled, cored, and sliced 1/4 inch thick, dried cranberries, butter , cut into pieces, rolled oats, water, apple juice, cranberry juice, salt, candied walnuts (optional)

active dry yeast, warm water (110o to 115o), king arthur premium 100% whole wheat flour, king arthur unbleached all-purpose flour, sugar, salt, cold reduced-fat butter, cubed, egg white, lightly beaten, warm fat-free milk (110o to 115o), chopped dates, chopped pecans, brown sugar, golden raisins, raisins, ground cinnamon, reduced-fat butter, melted, sugar, fat-free evaporated milk

butter, red onion, finely chopped, red bell pepper, seeded and chopped, jalapeno pepper, minced (whether you remove the seeds and membranes is personal choice!), eggs, parmesan cheese, grated, tabasco sauce, salt, dried oregano, ground black pepper

onion, chopped, green pepper, chopped, garlic clove, minced, butter, chopped tomatoes, minced fresh parsley, eggs, lightly beaten, shredded mozzarella cheese, soft bread crumbs, worcestershire sauce, salt, pepper

bread (cut crusts ), bacon, cooked, mozzarella cheese or 2 -3 cups cheddar cheese, combined (i only used about 1 cup total), eggs, beaten, salt, pepper, milk (could add other additional ingredients that suit your tastes, but i prefer it simple like listed abo)

eggs, milk, cream of mushroom soup, drained sliced mushrooms, bread, bulk sausage, crumbled,fried and cooled, grated cheese, salt and pepper

ground beef, broccoli florets, white bread, eggs, milk, low fat, cheddar cheese, low fat, shredded, salt, pepper

sausage, bread , torn into pieces, shredded monterey jack cheese, eggs, milk, salt, pepper, shredded cheddar cheese

condensed cream of chicken soup ., carton sour cream ., bacon ., bulk pork sausage ., eggs, beaten ., shredded cheddar cheese ., almonds, toasted .

sliced white bread, sliced or shaved ham, shredded cheddar cheese, eggs, chopped onion, chopped green pepper, dry mustard, black pepper, worcestershire sauce, tabasco pepper sauce, milk, butter or margarine, melted

bulk pork sausage, cooked and drained, shredded swiss cheese, shredded cheddar cheese, unbaked pastry shells (9 inches), eggs, lightly beaten, milk, chopped onion, chopped sweet red pepper, chopped green pepper

pork sausage, eggs, milk, dry mustard, salt, fresh ground black pepper, day old challah (5 oz.), shredded sharp cheddar cheese

brown sugar, ground cinnamon, ground nutmeg, apples, peeled and sliced, dried cranberries, butter, cubed, old-fashioned oats, water, cranberry-apple juice, salt

whole milk, butter, melted and cooled, king arthur unbleached all-purpose flour, salt, eggs