359 who they hate Recipes

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

at the time when christianity was accepted in serbia , many families were baptised and chose their own saint. this is why saint nicholas is celebrated by so many families on the 19th of december. for the orthodox families st. nicholas is a special day with special rituals and prayers, to others it only means a day to be with your family and enjoy lots of food., this st. nicholas bread is traditionally made in orthodox families for the feast of st. nicholas. i heard that in other families a coin is put in the bread and the person who gets the piece with the coin will be rich in the future. i do not believe that this is part of a religious ritual, but i can be wrong., ingredients for the bread, sugar, fresh yeast or 1 package dry yeast (7 g), lukewarm milk, kilo flour (all purpose), salt, sugar, butter, egg yolks, grated lemon peel and some lemon juice, ingredients for the braid, flour, water, little bit salt, how to make the bread, put the (fresh ) yeast in a small bowl together with a tsp sugar and a little bit lukewarm milk. mix and set aside so the yeast can start to work. yeast usually activates between 25 and 28 degrees celsius., take another bowl and beat the egg yolks, add the rest of the milk and stir well., put the flour , sugar, salt, lemon peel and a bit of lemon juice together in a bowl. add the softened butter in small pieces and knead until the mixture has a fine texture., mix the yeast mixture with the milk/egg mixture and add it to the flour. knead everything well until the dough becomes a ball (leaving the bowl clean). put the dough into another bowl, cover it with a damp cloth and put it on a warm place. let the dough rise for 2 hours., after these two hours knead the dough again (shortly) on a floured surface. make a ball again and let the dough rise again for 1 hour., form a round bread and put it on a greased baking tray or use greased baking paper. you can also use a round baking pan, don tsp forget to grease it, make the dough for the braid by mixing 250 g flour, 180 ml water and a pinch of salt together in a bowl. make a soft dough, divide it in three pieces and form 3 rolls. make a braid twice the diameter of the bread. cut the braid in half and form a cross on the bread, use a water/egg mixture to glue it on the bread., bake the st. nicholas bread in a preheated oven on 180 degrees celsius for about 60 minutes.

fresh eggs , depending on size., olive oil or butter, to coat skillet., stalk celery , remove strings and slice thin., broccoli florets, cut to small chunks , depending on size., onion, chopped ., garlic, diced fine ., basil ., butter ., tomato, small cubed, pitted and chopped kalamata olives (use basic ripe olives if you must)., fresh or dried & soaked mushrooms, chopped ., red bell pepper, chopped ., hot chilies, seeded and chopped (optional), smoked bacon, chopped ., canned escargot (depending on size and your taste), well drained., dry white wine ., corn meal ., grated swiss cheese. you can use other cheese but swiss is best ., salt & fresh ground pepper to taste.

there was a woman who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had been given three months to live. as she was getting her things in serving, she contacted her pastor and had him come to her house to discuss certain aspects of her final wishes. she told him which songs she wanted sung at the service, what scriptures she would like read, and what outfit she wanted to be buried in. the woman also requested to be buried with her favourite bible., everything was in serving and the pastor was preparing to leave when the woman suddenly remembered something very important to her., more thing , she said excitedly. what s that came the pastor s reply. this is very important, the woman continued.. i want to be buried with a fork in my right hand. the pastor stood looking at the woman, not knowing quite what to say.. that surprises you, doesn tsp it the woman asked. well, to be honest, i m puzzled by the request, said the pastor., woman explained. in all my years of attending church socials and potluck dinners, i always remember that when the dishes of the main course were being cleared, someone would inevitably lean over and say, keep your fork. it was my favorite part because i knew that something better was coming..like velvety chocolate cake or deep-dish apple pie. something wonderful, and with substance! so, i just want people to see me there in that casket with a fork in my hand and i want them to wonder what s with the fork then i want you to tell them: keep your fork..the best is yet to come, eyes welled up with tears of joy as he hugged the woman good-bye. he knew this would be 1 of the last times he would see her before her death. but he also knew that the woman had a better grasp of heaven than he did. she knew that something better was coming. at the funeral people were walking by the woman s casket and they saw the pretty dress she was wearing and her favorite bible and the fork placed in her right hand. over and over the pastor heard the question what s with the fork and over and over he smiled., during his message , the pastor told the people of the conversation he had with the woman shortly before she died. he also told them about the fork and about what it symbolized to her. the pastor told the people how he could not stop thinking about the fork and told them that they probably would not be able to stop thinking about it either., he was right ., next time you reach down for your fork, let it remind you oh so gently, that the best is yet to come..

all-purpose flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt, butter, softened, brown sugar, white sugar, eggs, vanilla extract, chocolate chips

all-purpose flour, unsweetened cocoa powder, white sugar, salt, vegetable oil, vanilla extract, pureed prunes baby food, eggs

olive oil for brushing, boneless, skinless chicken-breast halves (if they weigh more than 6 oz, halve and reduce cooking time by 5 minutes), salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste, mayonnaise, store-bought or homemade whole-wheat bread crumbs

simply potatoes traditional mashed potatoes, soft fresh goat cheese, cubed (chevre), cream cheese, cubed, butter, cubed, bacon, cooked and crumbled, red bell pepper, diced, green bell pepper, diced, green onions, thinly sliced (if they are large use 2 1/2), salt (to taste), pepper, cheddar cheese, shredded, divided, parmesan cheese, grated, divided (not the canned type )

very ripe plantains (when the skin is yellow with spots of black they re perfect)

flour, cornmeal, baking powder, sugar, salt, whole milk (i ve used low fat, and even skim milk and they work fine, but the best is the !), shortening, egg, butter, softened, honey

head iceburg lettuce, fresh spinach, green onions, chopped, peas, washed and drained, bacon bits, hard cooked eggs, chopped, grated cheddar cheese, parmesan cheese, sour cream, sugar, mayonnaise, recipes for this program , which were provided by contributors and guests who may not be professional chefs, have not been tested in the food network s kitchens. therefore, the food network cannot attest to the accuracy of any of the recipes.

ham, bone in, orange marmalade, coca cola classic, self-rising flour (summer wheat flour is best), vegetable shortening, milk, recipes for this program , which were provided by contributors and guests who may not be professional chefs, have not been tested in the food network s kitchens. therefore, the food network cannot attest to the accuracy of any of the recipes.

ground beef, ground pork , or substitute ground bulk sausage and eliminate seasonings, green onions, dried basil, dried oregano, salt and pepper to taste, shortening, parmesan cheese chunks 1/4-inch square, grated parmesan cheese, egg, sesame seeds, recipes for this program , which were provided by contributors and guests who may not be professional chefs, have not been tested in the food network s kitchens. therefore, the food network cannot attest to the accuracy of any of the recipes.

diced lamb (raw ), potatoes (raw ), hard boiled eggs, chopped onions, feta, crumbled, melted butter, chopped parsley, chopped mint, garlic, rice (uncooked ), milk, cinnamon, salt and pepper to taste, phyllo dough (16 sheets)- keep between 2 damp cloths so as not to dry out during use.

boneless chicken breast halves, white wine, lower sodium soy sauce, fresh ginger, grated, salt , ground black pepper, garlic powder and paprika to taste, leaf lettuce, tomatoes, sliced, seedless cucumber, sliced, radish roses, hard cooked eggs, each cut into quarters, shredded cheese of choice

marinara sauce, ground beef, wonton wrappers, mozzarella cheese shredded, parmesan cheese, ricotta cheese, fresh basil

chicken thighs, 2 1/4 lbs boneless skinless, ketchup, salsa, liquid honey, dijon mustard, chili poder, ground cumin, cornstarch