1099 scream swirl Recipes

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

flour, cocoa powder, ground cinnamon, baking soda, salt, butter, softened, brown sugar, sugar, eggs, vanilla extract, almond extract or 1 tsp orange extract, gives a nice flavor,too, instant coffee, warm water, nestle semi-sweet and white chocolate swirled chocolate morsels, divided (or substitute 1-10oz bag of semisweet and 1-10oz bag white chips)

cinnamon-swirl bread or 12 slices cinnamon raisin bread, half & half light cream or 16 oz light cream, eggs, butter, brown sugar, vanilla extract, cinnamon

unsalted butter, finest coastal valley peach apricot preserves or 1 (12 oz) jar smucker s orchard s finest pacific mountain strawberry preserves, egg yolks, slightly beaten, fresh lemon juice, salt, ready-to-use crepes, sliced peaches or 3 medium peaches, sliced, caramel-swirl ice cream , with caramel swirl, finest northwest triple berry preserves, warmed, sliced almonds, toasted

ice cream, honey roasted peanuts, nestle milk chocolate and peanut butter swirled morsels (recommended ( nestle) or 1 cup chocolate chips, of your choice (recommended ( nestle), peanut butter and milk chocolate chips (of your choice, recommended ( nestle) or 1/4 cup chocolate chips (of your choice, recommended ( nestle), crunch bars, broken into shards and dusty rubble (recommended ( nestle ), bourbon biscuits , broken up into crumbs and rubble/1 1/2 cups chocolate cookie crumbs, butterscotch sundae sauce, chocolate syrup

semi-sweet chocolate chips, peanut butter chips or 1 1/2 cups nestle milk chocolate and peanut butter swirled morsels, sweetened condensed milk (i use fat free), vanilla extract, powdered sugar , sifted, salt, peanut butter, smooth, margarine, softened, powdered sugar , sifted, milk, peanut butter chips or 1/2 cup nestle milk chocolate and peanut butter swirled morsels

biscuit/baking mix, egg, milk, mashed ripe bananas, swirled milk chocolate and peanut butter chips, maple syrup and additional swirled milk chocolate and peanut butter chips, optional

refrigerated pizza crust dough, genoa salami, thinly sliced, pepperoni sausage, sliced, provolone cheese, sliced, shredded mozzarella cheese

sheet pepperidge farm puff pastry, egg, water, shredded muenster cheese or monterey jack cheese, grated parmesan cheese, green onion, chopped, garlic powder, frozen chopped spinach, thawed and well drained

pepperidge farm puff pastry, mayonnaise, grated parmesan cheese, onion powder, garlic powder, ground black pepper, frozen chopped spinach, thawed and well drained, artichoke hearts, drained and chopped

white sugar, ground cinnamon, all-purpose flour, baking powder, salt, white sugar, egg, beaten, milk, vegetable oil

cream cheese, white sugar, egg, beaten, all-purpose flour, white sugar, baking soda, ground cinnamon, salt, ground nutmeg, pumpkin puree, butter, melted, egg, beaten, water

carton vanilla ice cream, pretzels, black and orange sprinkles, candy corn chopped, chocolate chips

all-purpose baking mix, granulated sugar, ground nutmeg, ripe bananas, mashed (about 1 cup), milk, egg, vegetable oil, vanilla extract, chopped pecans, unsalted butter, dark brown sugar, chopped pecans, bananas , cut in half lengthwise then crosswise, dark rum, vanilla extract, vanilla ice cream

milk, semisweet chocolate piece, pre- sweetened cocoa powder, eggs, lightly beaten, dry hawaiian sweet bread (see note, below ) or 3 1/2 cups cubed cinnamon-swirl bread, no raisins, about 6-1/2 oz bread (see note, below), cream (optional)

cake , vanilla, chocolate, or swirl, vanilla , chocolate, or swirl ice cream, slightly softened, coffee liqueur , or any liqueur you have on hand, divided, leftover coffee, divided, cocoa powder

pepperidge farm cinnamon swirl bread , cut into cubes (or use your favorite cinnamon bread!), eggs, beaten, milk, vanilla extract, sugar for sprinkling