633 eight treasure tsai Recipes

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

sausage, shredded sharp cheddar, lemon juice, soy sauce, dry biscuit mix (i like to get a low cal)

evaporated milk, whole milk , plus more if needed, duncan hines butter-cake mix, butter, eggs, vanilla, icing, butter, two 12-oz cans evaporated milk, heaping tbsp unsweetened cocoa, sugar

granulated sugar, butter, softened, eggs, nestle carnation evaporated milk, vanilla extract, all-purpose flour, salt, fresh raspberries, chocolate creme-filled chocolates, powdered sugar (optional)

butter, softened, cream cheese, softened, vanilla extract, king arthur unbleached all-purpose flour, salt, raspberry cake and pastry filling, egg, water

butter, softened, sour cream, king arthur unbleached all-purpose flour, salt, flaked coconut, apricot preserves, chopped walnuts

butter, softened, brown sugar, vanilla extract, king arthur unbleached all-purpose flour, baking powder, caramels, halved and flattened, semisweet chocolate chips, shortening, chopped pecans

carton (7 oz) milk chocolate for dipping, fresh strawberries, milk chocolate candy bars (1.55 oz each), vanilla or white chips, melted, cold milk, instant chocolate pudding mix

chocolate cake mix (regular size), strawberry pie filling, swiss cake rolls, vanilla frosting, assorted candies : jolly ranchers, nerds, skull and fish hard candies

cream cheese, at room temperature, heavy cream, sugar, vanilla extract, chocolate-hazelnut spread (such as nutella), raspberries (1 pint), short bread cookies , sliced baguette or ladyfingers, for serving

bleu cheese crumbles (recommended : treasure cove), plain bread crumbs, fines herbs (recommended : spice islands), olive oil , plus 1 tbsp, filet mignon steaks, salt and freshly ground black pepper, for seasoning, plus 1/2 tsp black pepper, cognac, organic beef stock (recommended : swanson), crushed garlic (recommended : christopher), frozen chopped onion (recommended : ore-ida)

white chocolate , tempered, bittersweet chocolate , tempered, milk chocolate , tempered, cocoa butter, powdered food coloring as desired, modeling chocolate, white

shortening; soft, brown sugar , firmly packed, eggs, all-purpose flour, ts baking powder, ts soda, ts salt, ts cinnamon, ts cloves, ts nutmeg, sweetened canned applesauce, quaker oats, uncooked, quick or old-fashioned ), raisins, pitted dates -- cut in small pieces, candied red cherries ( optional), chopped nutmeats

cream cheese (8 oz), sugar, milk, halved strawberries, dream whip, milk, jello instant pudding mix (lemon or banana flavor), graham cracker crust

brownie mix for 9x13 size pan, rolo candies, chocolate frosting

graham cracker crumbs, all purpose flour, baking powder, eagle brand sweetened condensed milk, margarine or butter, softened, flaked coconut , (1 1/2 cup.), semi-sweet chocolate chips (2 cups), walnuts, chopped

cheddar-flavored fish-shaped crackers, cinnamon corn -and-rice cereal, honey-flavored bear-shaped graham crackers, pretzels, candy- coated chocolate pieces, giant-size cheddar-flavored fish-shaped crackers

butter melted, onion chopped, red bell pepper chopped, celery stock chopped, smoked gouda shredded, cream cheese soft, treasure blue cheese, sour cream, eggs add 1 at at time, panko bread crumbs