16759 easy artisan christmas Recipes

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

easy homemade macaroni and cheese, elbow macaroni (dry ), chopped or grated cheddar cheese, sm. package. mozzarella cheese, milk, eggs slightly beaten, bread crumbs, salt and pepper to your taste, cook macaroni until done. (drain very well !), add your cheeses , then add eggs, milk, salt and pepper., mix and then put into baking pan , then put bread crumbs on top (last 20 minutes only)., heat oven to 350 degrees. heat and cook for 35-40 minutes until golden brown.

easy country chicken and dressing casserole, cooked , boned, and skinned chicken (or boneless breast pieces), cream of chicken soup, cream of celery soup, pet milk, sage, cornbread stuffing mix (stove top), chicken broth

easy swedish apple pie, granny smith apples - peeled, cored and sliced, sugar, sugar, flour, cinnamon, melted butter, egg

brown rice flour (stone ground), tapioca flour (or potato starch), chickpea flour, cornstarch (or corn flour), xanthan gum, instant yeast (or bread machine yeast), salt (fine table , or kosher), eggs (or equivalent substitute), brown sugar (light or dark ), lukewarm water (mix 1 cup hot tap water & 1 cup cold tap water to get lukewarm temp of about 100 f ), unsweetened applesauce, vegetable oil, cider vinegar

unbleached all purpose or bread flour, instant or bread machine yeast, fine salt or kosher salt, lukewarm water ( 100 degrees )

christmas plum pudding or 200 g christmas cake, brandy, icing sugar, egg white, dragees (silver balls)

cream cheese, green peppers (to garnish ) or 1/4 yellow bell pepper (to garnish), green onion, green part only, thick n chunky salsa (your choice ), apricot preserves, fresh cilantro, chopped, assorted tortilla chips, cracker

hot tap water, cold orange juice, granulated yeast, kosher salt, honey (recommend nunaturals morefiber stevia baking blend) or 1/4 cup stevia (recommend nunaturals morefiber stevia baking blend), ground aniseed, ground cardamom, orange zest, rye flour, unbleached all-purpose flour, cornstarch, wash (blend 1/2 tsp cornstarch with a small amount of water using a fork, add 1/2 cup water and micro), ground aniseed, ground cardamom, brown sugar

artisan bread, any type but sweet preferred , cut into bite sized pieces, milk , skim preferred, cardamom, cinnamon

christmas plum pudding, milk, double cream, vanilla ice cream, brandy

christmas honey fruit drops, mixed chopped candied fruits and peels , chopped candied cherries, raisins, and chopped pecans, bourbon, brown sugar, honey, butter or margarine, eggs, all purpose flour, baking soda, ground cinnamon, ground nutmeg, baking powder, dairy sour cream, combine fruits , nuts, and bourbon. cover, let stand several hours. in mixer bowl cream sugar, honey, and butter or margarine. beat in eggs. mix dry ingredients. add to creamed mixture alternately with sour cream. stir fruit mixture into creamed mixture. drop by tsp onto greased cookie sheet. bake in 350 degree oven for 10 to 12 minutes. cool on wire rack. frost, if desired. makes about 5 dozen cookies.

easy soft waffle mix, flour, nonfat dry milk, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, whisk together all ingredients in medium bowl. layer mixture into 1-pint jar with tight-fitting lid, 1-fifth at a time, packing down lightly before adding the next layer., cover top of jar with fabric; attach gift tag/recipe car with ribbon., gift tag/recipe card, easy soft waffles, makes 3 9-inch waffles, easy soft waffle mix, sparkling or still water, corn or vegetable oil, egg, orange extract, preheat and prepare waffle iron according to manufacturers directions., place contents of jar in medium mixing bowl; add water, oil, egg and orange extract. stir with wire whisk or fork until most lumps are gone. let mix rest for 5 minutes., pour 1/3 cup batter ( a generous 1/3 cup portion) onto prepared waffle iron. cook until there s no longer any steam coming from the waffle. repeat with remaining batter. serve immediately with your favorite waffle toppings.

easy taco soup, ground beef, onion, chopped, water, light red kidney benas, drained, pinto beans, drained, niblet corn, drained, black beans, drained, tomato sauce, tomato soup, rotel, enchilada sauce, taco seasoning mix, salt

easy chicken and sausage gumbo, andouille sausage or smoked , cut into 1/4-inch-thick slices, skinned bone-in chicken breasts or 1 whole chicken, vegetable oil, all-purpose flour, onion, chopped, green bell pepper, chopped, celery stalked, sliced, water, garlic cloves, minced, bay leaves, worcestershire sauce, dried thyme, hot sauce, green onions (scallions), sliced, file powder (optional), frozen okra

powdered sugar (also called confectioners or icing sugar), whole milk (half & half or heavy whipping cream may also be used), vanilla

pork sausage (hot or mild or both!), butter, onion, peeled and small chunked, sliced mushrooms, chopped green pepper, frozen hash brown potatoes, thawed, shredded reduced-fat cheddar cheese, salt (to taste), white pepper, black pepper, dry mustard, poultry seasoning, my microwave roasted garlic cloves, chopped fine (easy roasted garlic), eggs or 4 cups egg beaters egg substitute, milk, parmesan cheese, tomatoes, sliced and excess liquid removed, cilantro leaf, parmesan cheese, roasted red peppers or red bell pepper, chopped fine, green bell pepper, chopped fine