22414 ahead christmas stuffing gravy Recipes

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

christmas pudding, brandy, melted dark cooking chocolate, melted white chocolate

roasted chicken, corn, sliced carrots, drained (optional), chicken gravy, turkey gravy

chicken, sausages (chipolatas, these are frankfurter length ), streaky bacon, prepared stuffing (sage & onion sage and onion stuffing for roast chicken)

butter, soft brown sugar, plain flour, gravy mix, powder (eg bisto), salt, nutmeg, mixed spice, eggs, mixed dried fruit (raisins, sultanas, currants, candied peel etc), glace cherries, brandy (or similar alcohol for feeding the cake) or sherry wine (or similar alcohol for feeding the cake) or whiskey (or similar alcohol for feeding the cake), marzipan , for covering it, apricot jam , for covering it, royal icing ( has the right proportions)

ground pork, ground venison, water, onions, chopped, carrot, chopped, beef gravy mix, dried thyme, ground mustard, garlic cloves, minced, rubbed sage, pepper, salt, hot mashed potatoes (prepared without added butter or milk), pastry for double-crust pie (9 inches), milk

whole turkey, cheesecloth, fresh lemon juice, melted butter or 1 cup margarine, sausage or 2 lbs pork s, dried sage, dried summer savory, butter, onions, chopped, stalks celery & leaves, chopped, chopped fresh parsley, salt and pepper, dried apricot (optional), wheat germ, toasted bread cubes or 6 cups breadcrumbs, water or turkey stock or dry sherry or cognac, cheesecloth, dripping , from roasting pan, all-purpose flour, homemade turkey stock or water, salt and pepper

make ahead creole-stuffed potatoes, chopped onion, chopped green pepper, butter or margarine, chopped tomatoes, potatoes, baked, milk, salt and pepper to taste, butter or margarine, paprika to taste, saute onions and green pepper in 2 tsp. butter or margarine in skillet. add tomatoes; simmer for 2 minutes. cut potatoes in half lengthwise; scoop out pulp; reserve shells. mash pulp with milk, salt and pepper. fold in tomato mixture; spoon into shells on baking sheet. dot with butter; sprinkle with paprika. chill, covered, for several hours if desired., make ahead to this point., bake in preheated 400* f. oven for 20 minutes.

mushrooms, approximately, bulk sausage , i used 1/2 roll of owens regular flavor, herb seasoned stuffing mix , i used pepperidge farm, crushed ranch garlic-flavored croutons (optional), grated mozzarella cheese, grated parmesan cheese , i used kraft in the cannister

christmas plum pudding, milk, double cream, vanilla ice cream, brandy

christmas honey fruit drops, mixed chopped candied fruits and peels , chopped candied cherries, raisins, and chopped pecans, bourbon, brown sugar, honey, butter or margarine, eggs, all purpose flour, baking soda, ground cinnamon, ground nutmeg, baking powder, dairy sour cream, combine fruits , nuts, and bourbon. cover, let stand several hours. in mixer bowl cream sugar, honey, and butter or margarine. beat in eggs. mix dry ingredients. add to creamed mixture alternately with sour cream. stir fruit mixture into creamed mixture. drop by tsp onto greased cookie sheet. bake in 350 degree oven for 10 to 12 minutes. cool on wire rack. frost, if desired. makes about 5 dozen cookies.

stuffed capsicums, whole capsicums, stem removed and deseeded, salad for stuffing, tomatoes, halved or quartered, basil, chopped, garlic, chopped, sweet chillies, finely sliced, oil, wine vinegar, salt, pepper, pancetta slices or bacon, thick toast slices, ricotta and rocket salad, dressed with your favourite dressing

stuffed mushrooms, funghi ripienimakes 6 servings, white or cremini mushrooms with caps about 1 1/2 inches in diameter, extra virgin olive oil, plus more for the tops of the mushrooms if you like, chopped scallion, chopped red bell peppers, coarse breadcrumbs, chopped italian parsley (regular parsely will work), salt, freshly ground pepper, chicken stock or low-sodium canned chicken broth, unsalted butter, dry white wine , optional

stuffing mushrooms, garlic, cut into chunks, onion, black olives, fresh herbs of your choice (thyme, rosemary, sage, oregano), ground pepper, bread crumbs, goat cheese ., olive oil, white wine or water

stuffed french toast, toasting white bread, cream cheese, fruit preserves (strawberry, blueberry, or raspberry), eggs, heavy cream, cinnamon, vanilla, sugar, salt, corn flakes, crushed, butter

stuffed italian frying peppers, italian bread crumbs, parmesan cheese, fresh parsley, minced, paprika, red pepper flakes, olive oil, egg, oregano and basil (fresh is best - if using dry, reduce amount to 1/4 tsp), minced garlic ., rubbed sage, anchovies (or to taste), green onion or shallot, minced (optional)

whole turkey , neck and giblets reserved, unsalted butter, at room temperature, unsalted butter, melted for basting, salt , to taste, fresh ground pepper , to taste, paprika, carrots, peeled and quartered, celery rib, quartered, onion, peeled and quartered, water , if needed or 1 cup chicken broth, cognac , for gravy, port wine , for gravy, all-purpose flour , for buerre manie for gravy, unsalted butter , for buerre manie for gravy

acorn squash, olive oil, stove top stuffing mix or any leftover stuffing, enough to serve 4, leftover giblet, turkey or pork gravy