191 yes said Recipes

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

farfalle pasta, yellow summer squash, cut into 1-in. chunks, zucchini , halved lengthwise and cut into 1-in. chunks, olive oil, divided, salt (my addition), champagne vinegar, freshly ground pepper, chopped fresh oregano, toasted pine nuts, chopped pitted kalamata olives (michael also said that it might be better to leave the olives whole)

whiskey cake. enough said, some cakes are made with traditional ingredients such as nuts and fruit, and others are made with, let s say, odd ingredients -- mayonnaise, sauerkraut or ketchup. today we re featuring a whiskey cake. whiskey may not be your cup of tea, but this type of cake is very popular in some parts of the country. and of course there are different versions -- irish whiskey cake, chocolate whiskey cake, tennessee whiskey cake and tipsy cake., version is made with a packaged pineapple cake mix. chopped nuts, instant pudding and maraschino cherries are added to the batter., finishing touch is the whiskey-butter syrup , which is poured over the hot cake. this cake is lush and moist. and the whiskey flavor is not overpowering. try it -- you ll love it

boiled chickpeas (canned is fine; rinsed and drained ), garlic, salt , plus more to taste, freshly squeezed lemon juice, plain yogurt, tahini, pita breads, vegetable oil for frying (optional), cumin, butter, pine nuts, paprika

mayonnaise, dijon mustard, scallion , including green top chopped, lemon juice, chopped dilled gherkins, chopped capers, chopped fresh parsley, salt, fresh ground black pepper

bisquick reduced-fat baking mix, bisquick reduced-fat baking mix, splenda granular (sugar substitute ), ground cinnamon, egg (or equivalent in substitute), skim milk, vanilla extract, candy coating, splenda granular (sugar substitute ), ground cinnamon

cooked, cubed potatoes (boiled with jackets on, and peeled), whole onion, chopped (any kind , but red onions are probably the best to use), stalks celery, finely chopped, hard-boiled eggs, diced up, sweet gherkins, miracle whip (yes, miracle whip !), white vinegar, white sugar, salt

guinness stout, unsalted butter, unsalted butter, unsweetened cocoa, dark brown sugar, sour cream, eggs, vanilla extract, flour, baking soda, cream cheese, sugar, milk

uncooked macaroni noodles, tuna, drained (can use 3 cans), green onions, chopped or 1 onion, finely chopped, green bell pepper, seeded and chopped, stalk celery, finely diced, chopped sweet pickles (can use more or less , do not squeeze out any juice from the pickles), mayonnaise (i use half of each) or 1 cup salad dressing (i use half of each), sour cream, sweet pickle relish (optional or to taste), garlic powder (yes 1 tbsp or even 1-1/2 tbsp!), prepared yellow mustard, seasoning salt (or to taste, or use white salt), fresh ground black pepper (to taste), paprika, hard-boiled eggs (quartered ) (optional)

pork tenderloin, cubed, potatoes, cubed, carrots, cubed, raisins, red bell pepper, diced, green bell pepper, diced, tomato sauce, liver spread (originally, we use fresh pork liver but since it s very difficult to find a good liver, i substitute), onion, chopped, garlic cloves, chopped, grated romano cheese (parmesan is also good), bay leaves, sprite (yes, sprite .), soy sauce, lemon juice, lemon , zest of, only, ground black pepper

elbow macaroni, light margarine, flour, skim milk, velveeta reduced fat cheese product (cubed ), cheddar cheese (divided ), mozzarella cheese

just a week before christmas i had a visitor. this is how it happened. i had just finished the household chores for the night and was preparing to go to bed, when i heard a noise in the front of the house. i opened the door to the front room, and to my surprise, santa himself stepped out from behind the christmas tree. he placed his finger over his mouth so i would not cry out., what are you doing i started to ask., words choked up in my throat , and i saw that he had tears in his eyes. his usual jolly manner was gone. gone was the eager, boisterous soul we all know. he then answered me with a simple statement: teach the children, i was puzzled , what did he mean, he anticipated my question , and with 1 quick movement brought forth a miniature toy bag from behind the tree. as i stood bewildered, santa said, teach the children. teach them the real meaning of christmas. the meaning of christmas that nowadays has been forgotten., santa then reached in his bag and pulled out a fir tree and placed it before the mantle. teach the children that the pure green color of the stately fir tree remains green all year round, depicting the everlasting hope of mankind. all the needles point heavenward, making it a symbol of man s thoughts turning toward heaven., he again reached into his bag and pulled out a brilliant star. teach the children that the star was the heavenly sign of promises long ago. god promised a savior for the world, and the star was the sign of the fulfillment of his promise., he then reached into his bag and pulled out a candle. teach the children that the candle symbolizes that christ is the light of the world, and when we see this great light, we are reminded of he who displaces the darkness., once again he reached into his bag and removed a wreath and placed it on the tree. teach the children that the wreath symbolizes the real nature of love christ showed for us. real love never ceases. love is 1 continuous round of affection., he then pulled from his bag an ornament of himself. teach the children that i , santa claus, symbolize the generosity and good will we feel during the month of december., he then brought out a holly leaf. teach the children that the holly plant represents immortality. it represents the crown of thorns worn by our savior. the red holly berries represent the blood that he shed for us., next he pulled from his bag a gift and said, teach the children that god so loved the world that whoever believes in him shall have everlasting life. (john 3:16) thanks be to god for his unspeakable gift. teach the children that the wise men bowed before the holy babe and presented him with gold, frankincense and myrrh. we should always give gifts in the same spirit of the wise men., santa then reached in his bag and pulled out a candy cane and hung it on the tree. teach the children that the candy cane represents the shepherd s crook. the crook on the staff helps to bring strayed sheep back to the flock. the candy cane is the symbol that we are our brother s keeper., he reached in again and pulled out an angel. teach the children that it was the angels that heralded the glorious news of the savior s birth. the angels sang glory to god in the highest and on earth peace to men of good will., suddenly i heard a soft tinkling sound , and from his bag he pulled out a bell. teach the children that as the lost sheep are found by the sound of the bell, it should bring mankind to the fold. the bell symbolizes guidance and return., santa looked around and was pleased. he looked back at me and i saw that the twinkle was back in his eyes. he said, remember, teach the children the true meaning of christmas and do not put me in the center for i am but a humble servant of the 1 that is, and i bow down to worship him, our lord, our god, and savior.

hot dogs, your choice, hot dog buns, your choice, mustard, swiss cheese, sliced in half, kraut, chili, chopped onions, jalapenos, forks on stand-by, lots of napkins

bread flour, yeast, wheat flour, sugar, salt, dried herb (thyme or mixed italian or herbes de provence-- i added more), water (i used some of the liquid from the container of olives along with the ), olive oil, pitted and chopped olives (recipe said black, i used a mixture from the supermarket olive bar and made it 1/2 cup,and varied the size of the pieces so there would be a few big chunks)

your favorite cake mix, eggs, mayo (i ve never used anything else!), like i said , be creative! use your favorite flavor of cake mix and add 1 cup of chocolate chips, marshino cherries, peanut butter chips....the combinations are endless! (i ve done orange cake/white choc. chips, spice cake/raisins, chocolate fudge cake/marshino cherries, lemon cake/lemon frosting...you get the idea!)

frying chicken , cut into pieces, oil (preferably peanut ), head garlic , chopped (yes, a whole head), dried hot peppers or 1 tbsp chili pepper flakes, distilled white vinegar, soy sauce, honey

boneless skinless chicken thighs (leave bone in if you wish) (optional) or 1 1/2 lbs chicken tenderloins, depending on cost (optional), salt (or to taste), fresh ground black pepper , to taste, extra virgin olive oil, garlic cloves, crushed, white wine vinegar, butter, shallots, chopped, fresh rosemary, finely chopped, flour, dry white wine, beef broth (yes, beef broth )

vegetable oil, sliced red peppers (, or a combo of red, orange and yellow), snow peas, onion, cut into thin lengths, boneless skinless chicken breast, flour, salt, vegetable oil (yes, again ), chicken stock, lemon juice, sugar, vegetable oil, cornstarch, sesame oil, lemon , rind of, grated, garlic, minced, chopped parsley or 2 tsp chopped cilantro