635 kids finally Recipes

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

flour , plus, flour, divided, powdered sugar, cold butter, cut into small pieces (1 1/2 sticks), lemon juice concentrate , can of course sub fresh, eggs, sugar, baking powder, salt, powdered sugar (i used a lot)

rolled oats, whole wheat flour, baking soda, salt, butter, softened, canola oil, granulated sugar, brown sugar, egg, vanilla, chocolate chips (or whatever kind you like)

quinoa (soaked 24-48 hrs), amaranth (soaked 24-48 hrs), millet (soaked 24-48 hrs), sesame seeds (soaked 24-48 hrs), coconut flour, rice flour, flax seed meal, almond milk, water, coconut oil, agave (to taste), sea salt, baking powder, baking soda

frozen chopped broccoli or 1 (16 oz) bag broccoli florets, olive oil, seasoned bread crumbs (i use italian ), minced garlic, dried onion flakes, salt and pepper

a seasoning or flavoring your kids love; ketchup barbecue sauce, soy or steak sauce, salt and freshly ground black pepper, skinless boneless, chicken breasts or chicken tenders ,cut into 1/2 inch cubes or very thin strips, unsalted butter, dried bread crumbs

chicken leg quarters, cut into thighs and drumsticks, buttermilk, all-purpose flour, onion powder, garlic powder, seasoned salt, chicken bouillon granules, crumbled dried sage, ground black pepper, ground thyme, dried marjoram, eggs, milk, vegetable oil for frying , or as needed

whole wheat flour, honey, baking powder, baking soda, cinnamon, salt, buttermilk, vanilla extract, egg whites

chickpeas, green beans, wax beans, red kidney beans, red bell pepper (any colour can be used), red onion, peeled and thinly sliced, chopped fresh flat leaf parsley, red wine vinegar, balsamic vinegar, canola oil, granulated sugar (use less if desired), garlic, minced, worcestershire sauce, kosher salt, fresh ground black pepper

sugar, oil, eggs, vanilla, flour, cinnamon, baking soda, salt, walnuts, shredded carrot, flaked coconut, crushed pineapple with juice, cream cheese, butter , sofy, powdered sugar

cream cheese, brown sugar, sour cream, milk, instant vanilla pudding, vanilla, lemon juice

cocoa powder, artificial sweetener or 3 tsp splenda sugar substitute, vanilla flavoring, thick nonfat plain yogurt (about 5 oz), chocolate, to taste (grated medium fine, not too fine )

unsweetened baking chocolate, butter, sugar, milk, whipping cream, vanilla

cream cheese, oscar myer ham slices, green onion, thinly sliced, garlic powder, red pepper flakes, poppy seed, wheat thins crackers

lean ground beef, ground pork, yellow onion, finely diced, green bell pepper, finely diced, minced garlic cloves, eggs, beaten, worcestershire sauce, low-fat milk, italian style breadcrumbs, accent seasoning, old bay seasoning, ground pepper, rubbed sage, salt, hickory smoked bacon (thick cut )

pineapple chunks, drained (reserve 3/4 cups juice), mandarin oranges, drained, green grapes, fresh, banana, peeled and sliced, avocado, peeled and sliced, sugar, flour, egg , sligthly beaten, pineapple juice , the reserved juice from the canned pineapple, lemon juice (3-4 lemons depending on size)

graham cracker crumbs (or cookie crumbs), sugar, butter, cream cheese, softened, eggs, vanilla extract, lemon juice, heavy cream

graham cracker crumbs (or cookie crumbs), sugar, butter, cream cheese, softened, eggs, vanilla extract, lemon juice, heavy cream