5730 granny kid Recipes

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

granny smith apples, cut into 1/2-inch dice, brown sugar, old-fashioned oats, all-purpose flour, ground cinnamon, ground nutmeg, butter, softened

soybean oil, boneless pork, cut into 1/2 inch cubes, granny smith apples (about 3 large), cored and sliced into 1/2 inch wedges, dry white wine, brown sugar, cider vinegar, cornstarch (or arrowroot flour), worcestershire sauce

chopped granny smith apple (with core and peel), raw unfiltered apple cider vinegar, fresh lime juice, minced shallot, raw sugar, safflower or grapeseed oil, kosher salt, freshly ground black pepper

unsalted butter (melted ), unsweetened applesauce, all-purpose flour, granulated sugar, light brown sugar, baking soda, salt, ground cinnamon, ground ginger, ground nutmeg, granny smith apples, peeled, cored, and cut into 1-inch chunks, eggs, lightly beaten

pork chops , trimmed of excess fat, mango chutney, granny smith apple, peeled,cored and thinly sliced, seriously sharp cheddar cheese, grated

yellow cake mix, instant vanilla pudding, orange juice, water, oil, eggs, granny smith apples

chopped walnuts, spice cake mix, instant butterscotch pudding mix (substitute vanilla, if you wish), eggs, canola oil (or any vegetable oil), cold water, granny smith apples, peeled, cored and coarsely chopped, golden raisin (optional), icing sugar, for garnish

fage total 0, fine granulated sugar, greek honey, cider, granny smith apples, peeled, cored and diced, graham crackers

granny smith apples, mg) tablet vitamin cup, crushed, fresh lemon juice, peeled fresh ginger, sugar, chopped fresh basil

granny smith apples, coarsely chopped, unpeeled (about 5 medium apples or 1 1/2 lb), sugar, pasteurized apple juice, freezer jam pectin

granny smith apples, peeled, cored, and sliced, fresh squeezed lemon juice, flour, ground cinnamon, sugar, unsalted butter, chilled and cut into small pieces, all-purpose flour, sugar, baking powder, shortening, milk

granny smith apples cored shredded with peel and very well drained, carrot peeled and shredded, currants, chopped walnuts, mayonnaise, apple cider vinegar, brown sugar, poppy seeds

granny smith apples, carrots, peeled and trimmed, peeled fresh ginger

flour, sugar , plus, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, ground nutmeg, cold butter, cut up, buttermilk, granny smith apple, peeled,cored and diced (about 1 cup), sharp cheddar cheese, cut into very small dice (about 1 cup), egg white, lightly beaten

ground mustard, honey, mayonnaise, wholegrain bread, granny smith apple, unpeeled, sliced thin, sliced turkey, jarlsberg cheese or 4 oz sweiss cheese

granny smith apples, quick-cooking oatmeal, almonds, brown sugar, honey, in, water, salt, cinnamon