124 christmas sauce Recipes

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

beef brisket, garlic powder, onion powder, chili powder, dry mustard, liquid smoke, onion, finely minced, garlic cloves, minced, chili sauce, a-1 steak sauce, liquid smoke, thyme, cajun spices, cayenne pepper, worcestershire sauce, pepper

boneless and rolled pork loin, dry mustard, sherry wine , plus, sherry wine, soy sauce , plus, soy sauce, grated fresh ginger, garlic cloves, crushed, pineapple juice, crushed pineapple, water, brown sugar, cornstarch, parsley (optional), pineapple slice (optional)

fresh corn kernels (about 4 ears ), diced zucchini, chopped red bell pepper, chopped onion, chopped roasted anaheim chiles, dried oregano, garlic cloves, minced, baked tortilla chips (about 2 cups), divided, shredded part-skim oaxaca cheese or monterey jack cheese, divided, green chile sauce, new mexican red chile sauce

ground beef, bulk pork sausage, onion, chopped, green pepper, chopped, meatless spaghetti sauce, condensed tomato soup, undiluted, mushroom stems and pieces, undrained, worcestershire sauce, salt, divided, pepper, divided, garlic powder, eggs, lightly beaten, curd cottage cheese, carton (15 oz) ricotta cheese, shredded parmesan cheese, lasagna noodles, cooked and drained, part-skim mozzarella cheese

sliced white bread, sliced or shaved ham, shredded cheddar cheese, eggs, chopped onion, chopped green pepper, dry mustard, black pepper, worcestershire sauce, tabasco pepper sauce, milk, butter or margarine, melted

bread, crust removed, sliced ham, sliced cheese, eggs, salt, pepper, dry mustard, minced onion, green pepper, finely chopped (green capsicun), worcestershire sauce, whole milk, tabasco sauce (optional), butter, melted, enough crushed corn flakes, to cover

cream cheese, softened, shredded cheddar cheese, sour cream, chopped green onions, worcestershire sauce, hot pepper sauce, minced fresh parsley, sesame seeds, toasted, sweet red pepper, green pepper, assorted crackers

bread, crusts removed - divided, canadian bacon, sharp cheddar cheese, eggs, salt, ground black pepper, dry mustard, minced onion, diced green bell pepper, diced red bell pepper, worcestershire sauce, hot sauce, whole milk, butter, melted, crushed corn flakes cereal

chopped salami, salt and ground black pepper to taste, barbeque sauce, diced tomatoes with green chile peppers (such as ro*tel), onion, chopped, spinach, sage, ground cinnamon, refrigerated crescent rolls

vegetable broth, bulgur, sweet red pepper, sliced green onion, pesto sauce, cooked christmas lima beans or 2 cups pinto beans or 2 cups cranberry beans, fresh ground pepper, toasted bread , slices

ground beef, breadcrumbs, chopped onion, dried parsley flakes, salt and pepper, vinegar, cranberry sauce, brown sugar, chili sauce, lemon juice

ground chuck, lipton onion soup mix, heinz chili sauce, kraft thick & spicy original barbecue sauce, brown sugar

eggs, onion soup mix, seasoned bread crumbs, chopped dried cranberries, minced fresh parsley, lean ground beef, sauce, whole-berry cranberry sauce, ketchup, beef broth, brown sugar, chopped onion, cider vinegar

eggs, onion soup mix, seasoned bread crumbs, chopped dried cranberries, tb minced fresh parsley, lean ground beef, sauce, whole-berry cranberry sauce, ketchup, beef broth, tb brown sugar, tb finely chopped onion, cider vinegar

bread, with crusts cut off, ham, cheddar cheese, shredded, eggs, salt, pepper, dry mustard, minced onion, chopped green pepper (optional), sliced tomato (optional), worcestershire sauce, milk, tabasco sauce, butter, crushed corn flakes

white bread, crust removed, back bacon or 16 slices ham (etc), sharp cheddar cheese, eggs, salt, pepper, dry mustard, minced onion, green pepper, finely chopped, worcestershire sauce, whole milk, tabasco sauce, butter, special k cereal

mango, pine nuts, cream cheese, sweet chili sauce, coconut, sultanas, mint , for decoration