58 walking zombie Recipes

lean stewing beef or 1 1/2 lbs braising beef, trimmed of fat and cubed or 1 1/2 lbs lean ground beef, plain flour, butter, salt, black pepper, onions, peeled and chopped, garlic cloves, peeled and finely diced, carrots, peeled and diced, turnips (optional) or 2 small swede, peeled and finey diced (optional), chopped plum tomatoes, beef stock (made up with half water and beer or beef stock, made up with half water and wine), self raising flour, dried herbs (such as parsley, sage, thyme, majoram and rosemary) or 1 tbsp freshly chopped mixed herbs (such as parsley, sage, thyme, majoram and rosemary), shredded vegetable suet or 4 oz grated frozen butter, water, to mix

carrots, raisins, pineapple chunk, honey, lime juice, fresh grated ginger, chopped fresh basil

kosher salt, sugar, chopped garlic, fresh ground black pepper, soybean oil, beef tenderloin or 2 lbs sirloin, cut into 1-inch cubes, sugar, salt, freshly squeezed lime juice, water, fresh ground black pepper, chopped garlic, soybean oil or 3 tbsp any vegetable oil, sugar, chopped garlic, fresh ground black pepper, mushroom soy sauce, young lettuce leaves, for garnish, sliced scallion top, for garnish, jasmine rice , for serving

butter, minced shallots, minced garlic, minced celery, kahlua, ketchup, low sodium soy sauce, whiskey, balsamic vinegar, cider vinegar, worcestershire sauce, dijon mustard, liquid smoke, brown sugar, kosher salt, fresh ground pepper

vegetable oil, garlic cloves, thinly sliced, shallots, thinly sliced, ground pork, tamarind juice, sugar, salt, peeled finely chopped gingerroot, peanuts , roasted and coarsely ground, spinach, leaves (or lettuce leaves) (optional), fresh cilantro stem , and, sliced red bell pepper, for garnish (if not using the spinach), crispy rice

whole tomatoes (canned ), canola oil, beef (rib meat), salt and black pepper (to taste), sweet yellow onions (diced ), grapeseed oil, ground beef, garlic (minced ), paprika, cayenne, tomato powder, cumin, ground, black pepper, salt, dried ancho chile powder, chili powder (your favorite blend ), dried red chilies (whole ), crushed red pepper flakes, lard (melted ), dried red beans (rehydrated ), cilantro, minced, chicken stock

boneless top round beef, cut into 1 1/2-inch cubes, peeled thinly sliced gingerroot (about 2 oz), dried new mexico chiles, soaked, seeded and deveined, garlic cloves, coarsely chopped, shallot, coarsely chopped, water, vegetable oil, sugar, fish sauce, mushroom soy sauce, salt, fresh ground pepper, chicken broth, green coconut juice, tamarind juice, fresh cilantro stem, for garnish, cucumber , slices

sugar, half-and-half, whipping cream, salt, vanilla extract, cherry extract, almond extract, cherry pie filling, chilled, almonds, brownies, broken into small pieces, chilled

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

beef roast (rump works best), onion, dry onion soup mix, seasoning, any you might want to add

margarine, softened, chocolate cookie crumb, soft caramel candy, semi-sweet chocolate chips, cocoa powder, ground pecans, knox unflavored gelatin, warm water, cream cheese, softened, sour cream, sugar

ground beef, taco seasoning mix, water, head lettuce, shredded, tomatoes, diced, mexican blend cheese, shredded, onions, diced, sour cream (more or less depending on how much you want to put on your taco), salsa (more or less depending on how much you want to put on your taco), nacho cheese flavor doritos (get the individual small bags of chips, not the 99 cent bags. it s called the go sack or 12 sack )

poblano peppers, red onions, quartered, tomatillos, husked , walked and halved, heads garlic, olive oil, divided, chicken quarters, bone in, smothered black beans , recipe follows, grilled pico de gallo , recipe follows, guacamole , recipe follows, olive oil, ham hock, chopped yellow onions, chopped celery, chopped carrots, minced garlic, dried black beans, rinsed and picked over, chopped fresh cilantro leaves, ground cumin, fresh lime juice, salt, worcestershire sauce, hot sauce , to taste, olive oil, roma tomatoes, halved, red onion, sliced into 1/2-inch thick slices, jalapeno, halved, stem removed, and seeded, lemon juice, lime juice, chopped cilantro leaves, salt, freshly ground black pepper, ripe avocados, peeled and pitted, peeled and finely chopped italian plum tomatoes, seeded and minced jalapeno pepper, chopped green onion, minced garlic, chopped fresh cilantro leaves, freshly squeezed lime juice, fresh orange juice, fresh lemon juice, salt and freshly ground black pepper

wake up, stretch, wipe sleep from eyes, throw on white mens shirt ,collar up, slip into blue jeans,ones with fewer holes, step into the white tennis shoes, run brush thou hair, jump in car, drive to grocery store, walk to the frozzen food section, nod to the 1 person you wished did nt see you in this ruffled mess, look at the slections, no,yes,no, what the heck, take them all, pay for purchase, drive home, pop toaster strudel in toaster, enjoy, life is short ,enjoy it all,even if it s only the different flavors of toaster strudels, hope you all have a great day

unsalted butter, celery ribs, diced, carrots, diced, onions, diced, leek, cleaned well and sliced, almonds, fresh dill, bay leaves, turmeric, chicken stock, wild rice, white rice, diced cooked chicken, sliced mushrooms, salt, ground black pepper