272 napkin standing Recipes

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

sliced fresh mushrooms, standing beef rib roast, onion soup mix, beer, ground black pepper

shredded deli rotisserie chicken, old el paso red enchilada sauce, old el paso chopped green chiles, old el paso stand n stuff taco shells, sliced red onion, crumbled queso fresco cheese

eggs, progresso recipe starters creamy three cheese cooking sauce, butter, shredded monterey jack cheese with jalapeno peppers, old el paso stand n stuff taco shells, avocado, cubed (optional), salsa (optional), sour cream (optional)

progresso recipe starters fire roasted tomato cooking sauce, chipotle chile in adobo sauce, finely chopped, or more to taste, ground cumin, chili powder, shredded cooked turkey, old el paso stand n stuff taco shells, shredded iceberg lettuce, seeded, chopped tomato, shredded cheddar or taco-seasoned cheese blend, sour cream

fresh rosemary, chopped, garlic, chopped, olive oil, standing beef rib roast, kosher salt and ground black pepper to taste, carrots, chopped, ribs celery, chopped, onions, chopped, low-sodium beef broth, cabernet sauvignon wine, dried cherries, unsalted butter, all-purpose flour , or as needed

lean (at least 80%) ground beef, progresso recipe starters fire roasted tomato cooking sauce, creamy peanut butter, semisweet chocolate chips, old el paso taco seasoning mix, old el paso stand n stuff taco shells, shredded iceberg lettuce (optional), chopped seeded tomato (optional), shredded cheddar or monterey jack cheese (optional)

brine-cured pitted black olives (such as kalamata), brine-cured pitted green olives (such as picholine), extra-virgin olive oil, chopped fresh thyme, drained capers, chopped fresh rosemary, garlic cloves, chopped, anchovy fillet packed in oil, drained, four-bone standing beef rib-eye roast (about 11 lb), chine bone removed, fat trimmed to 1/4 -1/2 thick, kosher salt plus more, freshly ground black pepper, dry red wine (such as merlot), reduced-sodium chicken or beef broth, thyme, unsalted butter, room temperature, divided, all-purpose flour

sliced applewood-smoked bacon , cut crosswise into 1/2 pieces, chopped celery, chopped shallots, garlic cloves, chopped, cooked (or three 10-oz bags frozen, thawed ) spinach, squeezed dry, finely chopped, creme fraiche or sour cream, coarse fresh breadcrumbs made from day-old white bread, chopped scallions, chopped fresh sage, chopped fresh thyme, nutmeg, preferably freshly grated, kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, eggs, whisked to blend, kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper, olive oil, chopped fresh thyme

unsalted butter, divided, vidalia or maui onions (about 1 1/4 lb total), very thinly sliced on a mandoline (about 3 packed cups), low-salt chicken stock, buttermilk, kosher salt, vegetable oil, dry-aged rib-eye steak (about 2 thick), standing at room temperature for 1 hour, coarse sea salt, assorted soft herb sprigs (such as tarragon, flat-leaf parsley, and chervil)

creme fraiche, heavy whipping cream, prepared white horseradish, dijon mustard, divided, onions, cut into 3/4-inch wedges with some core attached, very large shallots (about 1 lb), quartered through root end, balsamic vinegar, olive oil, coarse kosher salt plus additional (for sprinkling ), garlic cloves, minced, bone-in standing prime rib roast, trimmed, yellow mustard seeds, brandy, low-salt beef broth, chopped fresh italian parsley

well-trimmed 8- to 9-lb rib roast (with 4 bones ), crushed dried rosemary, divided, coarse kosher salt, freshly ground black pepper, olive oil, boiling water, dried porcini mushrooms, butter, room temperature, divided, fresh button mushrooms , cut into 1/4-inch-thick slices, garlic cloves, minced, all purpose flour, low-salt beef broth, dry red wine, fresh rosemary (for garnish )

tomatoes, lime, fresh basil leaves , plus more for garnish, tomato juice, sagatiba pura or another cachaca, worcestershire sauce, hot sauce, salt

warm water, divided (110 degrees f), active dry yeast, active dry yeast (or use two .25-oz packages yeast), sugar, bread flour (more if needed), salt, sugar, vegetable oil (or use canola oil, do not substitute butter or shortening for the oil it will affect the texture)

coarse salt, water, a 6-to-8 lb st nding rib ro st, trimmed