971 mouth bark Recipes

vanilla wafers, unsalted butter, watermelon juice, lemon zest, fresh lemon juice, sugar, milk, unflavored gelatin, sugar, cream, for garnish

cauliflower, cut into florets, white bread or 1 slice whole wheat bread, processed into fresh crumbs, dried thyme, dried basil, dried marjoram, salt, pepper, olive oil, divided, garlic, minced

dried sassafras root , bark (optional), dried birch bark, dried sarsaparilla root, dried licorice root, gingerroot, thinly sliced, split vanilla bean, water, divided, molasses, active dry yeast

creamy peanut butter, ritz crackers, milk chocolate bark or 1 (24 oz) package white chocolate bark or 1 (24 oz) package almond bark

slightly dry roasted salted peanuts, semi-sweet chocolate chips, german chocolate, broken into small pieces, white chocolate bark or 3 lbs almond bark, chopped

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

all-purpose flour, unsweetened cocoa powder, baking soda, white sugar, brown sugar, butter, softened, vanilla extract, eggs, chocolate-covered caramel candies (such as rolo), white sugar, chocolate almond bark (chocolate confectioners coating) (optional)

unsalted dry roasted peanuts, lightly salted dry roasted salted peanuts, semi-sweet chocolate chips, white chocolate chips, vanilla bark (i always use almond) or 16 oz almond bark (i always use almond)

white chocolate or 1 lb almond bark, melting chocolate, rice chex, corn chex, cheerios toasted oat cereal, pretzel sticks, dry roasted peanuts, m & s plain chocolate candy

boxed cake mix, cheese frosting (or about 1 can), chocolate bark, candies , melts or white chocolate bark, candy sprinkles , m&ms or something similar for top cupcake

cookies, butter flavored shortening, white sugar, eggs, milk, vanilla extract, all purpose flour, baking powder, salt, butter, vanilla extract, sugar, milk

bulk pork sausage, celery ribs, finely chopped, onions, finely chopped, golden delicious apple, chopped, butter, cubed, crushed corn bread stuffing, dried cranberries, rubbed sage, dried rosemary, crushed, dried thyme, reduced-sodium chicken broth

beef liver or 1 1/4 lbs chicken livers, wheat germ, whole wheat flour, cooked barley, whole eggs, peanut butter, garlic, olive oil, salt (optional)

whole wheat flour, cornmeal, wheat germ, barbecue sauce, brown sugar, honey, corn oil, egg, water

eggs, beaten, vegetable oil, water, chicken soup (low sodium ), plain dry dog food (small-sized kibble), garlic powder

butter - 2 stick (cannot be margarine), brown sugar , packed, semi-sweet chocolate chips, saltine crackers

whole-wheat flour, bread flour, garlic powder , or 1 small clove garlic, minced, canola oil, egg, water, cornmeal , for dusting, bbq sauce , recipe follows

sugar, butter, softened, egg yolk, almond extract, all-purpose flour, unsweetened cocoa, melted chocolate chips (to decorate ) or almond bark (to decorate) or maraschino cherries (to decorate) or nuts (to decorate)