475 dave adult Recipes

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

smoked ham hocks - 6 quarts (6 litre) chicken stock, yukon gold potatoes, boiled and then pureed, shredded two-year-old white cheddar, melted butter - 1/4cup (60 ml) 35% cream, green onions, finely chopped - 11/2 tsp (7 ml) salt, white pepper - 1 tsp (5 ml) fresh ground nutmeg, panko bread crumbs - 1 cup (250 ml) all-purpose flour, eggs, beaten, milk, chive sour cream, sour cream, chives, finely chopped, salt, white pepper, tabasco sauce, worcestershire sauce, amy rosen/national post

cake, flour, sugar, baking soda, crushed pineapple, easy icing, sweetened condensed milk, margarine, sugar, angel flake coconut

cranberry juice cocktail, orange juice, apricot nectar, peeled, chopped green apple, pineapple chunks in 100 percent juice (drained ), peeled and segmented navel orange, red or white wine to each adult serving

butter, onion, finely chopped, garlic, minced, orange juice, cider vinegar, fresh lemon juice, lemon, real maple syrup, worcestershire sauce, ketchup, molasses, brown sugar, dry mustard, salt, red pepper flakes, ground cumin, paprika

ground beef, chorizo sausage, casings removed and crumbled, egg, bread crumbs, diced green chilies, onion, chopped, barbecue sauce (such as famous dave s devil s spit), ketchup, onion soup mix

kosher salt, paprika, lemon pepper, mrs. dash seasoning mix, roasting chickens, italian dressing, lemon juice, roast chicken seasoning (above)

granny smith apples, peeled, cored , and cut into semicircles, white sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, rum

kosher salt, paprika, lemon pepper, mrs. dash seasoning mix, bone-in chicken breasts, italian dressing (1 bottle), lemon juice, roast chicken seasoning

portabella mushrooms, salt, pepper, garlic powder, balsamic vinegar, extra virgin olive oil, divided, hamburger buns

seeded and chopped banana peppers, diced tomato, onion, chopped, virgin olive oil, balsamic vinegar (to kill acid of tomatoes), salt, pepper, crushed garlic, butter

pepperidge farm cinnamon-swirl bread, golden raisin, sugar, milk, heavy whipping cream, vanilla extract, eggs, beaten, cinnamon, unsalted butter, cubed, chopped pecans, light brown sugar, heavy whipping cream, cinnamon, sour cream, vanilla extract

pork roast (shoulder or butt), garlic, minced, dehydrated, onions, minced, dehydrated, black pepper, freshly ground, cayenne pepper, ground, liquid smoke, coca-cola (or other brand of cola), barbecue sauce (i use famous dave s rich & sassy)

good bittersweet chocolate, unsalted butter, softened, sugar, eggs

take 1 cup fresh snow. add cherry juice and 1 maraschino cherry - winter slushy, take 1 cup fresh snow.......add chocolate sauce......layer some more snow.......add mini colored marshmallows.......add some more sauce and top with crushed graham crackers., take 1 clear icicle........add to cup of fresh snow.......mix with chilled lemonade.......or orange juice., take 1 cup of fresh snow add a candy cane........sprinkle with crushed mint chocolate candy., fresh snow........carmel ice cream topping drizzled.......add 1 ginger snap cookie......eat quickly ., me irish swiss relatives , of adult age, 1 shot...absinthe...and look at the fresh snow out yer winder, take 1 cup of fresh snow and drizzle with maple syrup....add child. and watch smile appear

ground beef, onion, minced, garlic powder, onion powder, parmesan cheese, salt and pepper, breadcrumbs (i like italian flavor ), milk, egg, oregano, thyme, a-1 steak sauce (optional), barbecue sauce (i use famous daves, or ken davis)

yellow cornmeal, stone-ground cornmeal, yellow cake mix (jiffy makes this size), baking powder, salt, cayenne pepper, milk, buttermilk, vegetable oil, eggs, beaten, light brown sugar, honey, mayonnaise, butter, jalapeno pepper, seeded and cut into 1/8-inch dice, red bell peppers, seeded and cut into 1/8-inch dice, honey, cayenne pepper

ground beef, tomato sauce, kidney beans, with liquid, pinto beans, with liquid, diced onion, diced green chili pepper, diced celery, tomatoes, chopped, cumin powder, chili powder, black pepper, salt, water