9 things going Recipes

here are the basics of making an excellent cheese fondue , the proper way (or at least the lindysez way)., use good cheese , i use half emmental swiss and gruyere, grate them up and toss them with some salt and a good amount of pepper. let them sit out at room temp so they melt better . cut your bread (good french bread, but not sourdough) into bite sized pieces making sure to have crust on each piece. let those sit out for a while too so they aren tsp too soft., cheese that you use , you are going to use 1 3/4 cups of a dry white wine, such as a fume blanc, a california sauv blanc (don tsp use a new zealand 1 as most are too grassy) or a pouilly-fume. when you are ready to make the fondue, rub the pot with a clove of garlic (we like garlic, so we leave the clove in, but you don tsp need to); then place over a medium heat and add the wine. when the wine comes to a simmer, start slowly adding the cheese, sprinkling in a handful at a time, allowing each addition to melt (my dad said you always have to stir in the same direction, in a figure 8 motion, it works. if you stir in a circle you will end up with a big glop of cheese in the middle of a pot of wine, the figure 8 is key); keep adding until you have a nice thick sauce, then add a splash of kirsch and a pinch of nutmeg. put over a burner to keep it bubbling, and stir often when you dip your bread., a lb of cheese is enough for 4 people; or more if you are serving other things. and the amounts are guesstimates. i almost always grate too much cheese, so only add as much as you need to get the right consistency ; when you dip a piece of bread into the fondue, you want a nice coating of cheese and for the bread to absorb the wine. that s what it s all about, cheese, wine and bread. so use the best you can of each ingredient. and any left over cheese makes for a mighty good ham and cheese omelet.

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

any liquid can be reduced just by heating it - but why would you want to do that, answer comes back to two of our old friends, flavor and consistency (texture)., by reducing any flavored liquid you intensify its flavor and at the same time thicken it. you can continue this process until what you have left is a syrup if it contains sugar, or a sauce if it does not., this is 1 of the most important tools in the kitchen , believe it or not, because a great sauce can rescue an indifferent meal., literally any liquid can be reduced ., a few uses, wine is frequently used in cooking , both as a marinade and as an addition to sauces for meat., there are some problems with it though, 1 of which is that you need a really good wine and quite a lot of it to produce a reasonable sauce for, say, six people., on the other hand , if you use pure grape juice and reduce it to a syrup, that syrup, added to any sauce (or gravy if you prefer) will lift it into the realms of gourmet ., more , you don tsp have to make your reduction on the night you prepare your meal. you can reduce a liter of grape juice at any time to the consistency and flavor you want; then just store it in the fridge., you can do the same thing with any fruit juice - prune is sensational - and store it until needed. just about all of them will do things for ice cream, pies or tarts that will have your guests demanding the recipe, pork with apple sauce use a carton of fresh apple juice from the supermarket and reduce it. and if you want a real sensation add in a glass of apple brandy during the reduction process., are you getting an idea of how simple this is, take any carton of fresh stock straight of the shelf and reduce it. you will transform it into something even the manufacturer won tsp recognize. but beware, you need to start out with good quality in the first place, because when you reduce a liquid you intensify all the flavors, and not just the good ones., if it s salty to start with, for example, it will be salty beyond belief by the time you ve reduced it even by half. so if you are going to use a supermarket stock, make sure it s an extremely good 1., believe me when i tell you that stock cubes should not be used for reduction sauces., thickeners, because you will be tasting as you go (won tsp you ), you may find that you get the flavor you want before the desired consistency is reached., a couple of hints right now for your sauces., sweet ones can be thickened successfully without loss of color by adding in liquid glucose early on in the reduction process. surprisingly, this will add little in the way of sweetness and produces a beautiful velvety sauce when whisked., if you get it wrong and add too much, no problem. stir in a little extra water to thin it., reduction pans, reductions need to happen rapidly in serving to preserve flavors. and the greater the surface area of the liquid the faster the water will evaporate., however you may want to whisk something into the sauce while its cooking - such as butter or olive oil for example - and for that i find a small wok is best; 1 with a handle., a wok is less likely to reduce so fast that the sauce is burnt while your back is turned. but try both methods and see which you prefer. you may even end up using something totally different., no magic to this. whatever works for you, that s what you should use, in this and everything else to do with cooking., just bear in mind that what you re after is speed and ease of use. as well as a great tasting result, of course. :>), keeping, if they should dry out , simply add a little water and heat through., sauces containing meat juices of any kind must be frozen if you re going to keep them, and should be brought to boiling point before being used again. there is no need to thaw them out to do this, in fact it s better not to. simply drop the frozen cubes into a saucepan, melt them over a gentle heat, and then bring swiftly to the boil., why do you do this to avoid food poisoning, that s why. you are making sure that any bugs introduced into the sauce during the preparation process are killed off., worry , this will not be because of anything you have done wrong (i hope!), but because bacteria are part of our everyday lives and they exist in every kitchen, however clean., in fact your food , and especially your meat, is crawling with wildlife that you will never see. don tsp worry about them. careful handling and simple precautions will ensure that these miniature monsters can never multiply enough to harm either you or your guests.

beef brisket, oil, chopped onion, chopped celery, kosher salt and pepper, paprika, garlic cloves, minced, tomato paste, water, onion soup mix, any brand spaghetti sauce mix, coke or 1 cup pepsi, bay leaf, carrots, coarsely chopped

onion, tips (the ends and skins of whole onions and also scallions and leeks, the dark green tops and white botto), broccoli stem, carrot, tops (and the bottom you usually cut off), asparagus spear (use the stems for the broth), celery top (and leaves ), pea pods (i use edamame pods too), corn cobs (after the corn is cut off), bread , heels (whole grain and dark s are best), rind brie cheese (if not going vegan), tomato, tips, beet, tips and leaves, cauliflower stem, and leaves, potato skins (regular and sweet ), bay leaf, peppercorns, parsley (i grab a handful from the garden), salt

vidalia onion, kentuckey kernel seasoned flour, egg, water, artisan 100% organic all-purpose wheat flour (king arthur brand), powdered chipotle pepper (i like things medium hot.), garlic powder (i tend to go heavy on the garlic), onion powder, peanut oil (for frying )

unsweetened chocolate, sugar, butter, eggs, vanilla, flour, baking soda, chocolate , semisweet, dulce de leche, marshmallow creme