1438 that cleopatra would love Recipes

avocado, bread, . (your favorite , great on toasted bread, i bet this would be awesome on a bolillo roll ( torta bread), mayonnaise (adjust the amount to what suits you), tomato, sliced, onion (chopped or sliced use what you like), cilantro, to taste (chopped ), lettuce (use what you like and in the amount that you like.), salt and pepper

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

potatoes, cut into chunks, celery, cleaned and chopped, white onions, diced, hard-boiled eggs, diced, miracle whip, milk, sugar, mustard, dijon mustard, white pepper, fresh ground pepper, salt

water , from the tap, vegetable oil, liquid lecithin, honey, egg, salt, powdered milk, lemon juice, whole wheat flour, vital wheat gluten, instant yeast

sliced zucchini, bisquick, eggs, oil, grated mozzarella cheese, grated parmesan cheese, pepper

trifle may be a holiday tradition for many families, but it is more about the tradition than the flavor of the thing. most trifles are a gloppy mass of soggy cake, grainy custard, watery fruit, and strong booze. we love the flavors, but wanted something better than that. starting with a classic southern rendition of trifle called tipsy squire, we set out to make a trifle that tasted as good as it looked. here s what we discovered, test kitchen discoveries, stale sponge cake works better than fresh because it absorbs the liquid without turning mushy. allow the cake to sit unwrapped overnight on the counter or expedite the process by baking the cake at 200 degrees for three hours., make a quick and light custard stabilized with cornstarch., use jam , not fresh fruit, for a deep fruit flavor without a watery texture., top the trifle with small almond macaroons for their flavor and crisp texture.

here are the basics of making an excellent cheese fondue , the proper way (or at least the lindysez way)., use good cheese , i use half emmental swiss and gruyere, grate them up and toss them with some salt and a good amount of pepper. let them sit out at room temp so they melt better . cut your bread (good french bread, but not sourdough) into bite sized pieces making sure to have crust on each piece. let those sit out for a while too so they aren tsp too soft., cheese that you use , you are going to use 1 3/4 cups of a dry white wine, such as a fume blanc, a california sauv blanc (don tsp use a new zealand 1 as most are too grassy) or a pouilly-fume. when you are ready to make the fondue, rub the pot with a clove of garlic (we like garlic, so we leave the clove in, but you don tsp need to); then place over a medium heat and add the wine. when the wine comes to a simmer, start slowly adding the cheese, sprinkling in a handful at a time, allowing each addition to melt (my dad said you always have to stir in the same direction, in a figure 8 motion, it works. if you stir in a circle you will end up with a big glop of cheese in the middle of a pot of wine, the figure 8 is key); keep adding until you have a nice thick sauce, then add a splash of kirsch and a pinch of nutmeg. put over a burner to keep it bubbling, and stir often when you dip your bread., a lb of cheese is enough for 4 people; or more if you are serving other things. and the amounts are guesstimates. i almost always grate too much cheese, so only add as much as you need to get the right consistency ; when you dip a piece of bread into the fondue, you want a nice coating of cheese and for the bread to absorb the wine. that s what it s all about, cheese, wine and bread. so use the best you can of each ingredient. and any left over cheese makes for a mighty good ham and cheese omelet.

lasagna noodles, ready to cook , no pre-boiling necessary, onions, fresh garlic cloves (pressed or minced ), zucchini (courgettes), mushrooms (the browner the color, the tastier they will be), tofu (optional), shredded mozzarella cheese, soft fresh goat cheese (about 1 cup s worth), tomato puree (or you can combine tomato paste with diced tomatoes), milk, butter, flour, bay leaf, nutmeg, dried oregano, dried basil, fresh basil, chili powder (pili-pili)

cherry kool-aid, strawberry koolaid, sugar, water, frozen orange juice, frozen lemonade, frozen pink lemonade concentrate, cranberry juice cocktail, squirt soda

lean ground beef (or less ), green pepper, chopped, onions, chopped, brooks chili hot beans, tomato paste, water, diced tomatoes with juice, chili powder , to taste, cumin , to taste, hot sauce , to taste, cilantro (optional)

sweetened condensed milk, semi-sweet chocolate chips (my personal favorite is to replace 1/2 or even the whole amount of choc. chips with peanutbutter chi), unsweetened baking chocolate (i prefer to grate it), vanilla extract, cocoa, nuts (add or simply top with . use your own preference in deciding what kind) (optional)

mixed ground pork (any combo you want, some stores even have meatloaf mix already ground for you...that s perfect) or 1 1/2 lbs ground beef (any combo you want, some stores even have meatloaf mix already ground for you...that s perfect) or 1 1/2 lbs ground veal (any combo you want, some stores even have meatloaf mix already ground for you...that s perfect), chopped onion, white bread (crust removed ), milk, fresh parsley, chopped, garlic cloves, kosher salt, pepper, pecorino romano cheese, eggs, san marzano tomatoes , just look for it on the label (you can use regular...but san marzano taste amazing, brand i use is centro), onion, chopped, garlic cloves, fresh parsley or 1 tsp dried parsley, fresh basil or 1 tsp dried basil, fresh oregano or 1 tsp dried oregano

baby lima beans , sorted and rinsed, dry white beans (navy or northern) or 1/2 cup black-eyed peas, sorted and rinsed (you can also use a good cholent bean mix), chuck roast (don tsp use that fatty cholent plate and do put some bones in) or 1 1/4 lbs beef brisket (don tsp use that fatty cholent plate and do put some bones in) or 1 1/4 lbs top ribs (don tsp use that fatty cholent plate and do put some bones in) or 1 1/4 lbs beef shanks (don tsp use that fatty cholent plate and do put some bones in) or 1 1/4 lbs other pot roast (don tsp use that fatty cholent plate and do put some bones in), onion, chopped, pot barley, washed, dry lentils , sorted and rinsed, paprika, salt, ground black pepper, ground ginger, potatoes , scrubbed

firm tofu, whole milk ricotta cheese (try soy yogurt or silken tofu as a non dairy alternative) or 4 tbsp cottage cheese (try soy yogurt or silken tofu as a non dairy alternative), pureed prune, pear, diced, banana, diced, canned apricots or 1 -2 fresh apricot, blanched and peeled, instant baby rice cereal flakes (make sure to use the instant kind that resembles flakes and needs to be reconstituted with a liquid,) or 2 -6 tbsp instant baby oat cereal flakes (make sure to use the instant kind that resembles flakes and needs to be reconstituted with a liquid,) or 2 -6 tbsp other instant baby cereal flakes (make sure to use the instant kind that resembles flakes and needs to be reconstituted with a liquid,)

butter, sugar, flour, egg, spoonfull jelly (if you would like a chocolate cake add in 3 tbsp cocoa powder, you can also make peanut butte) or jam (if you would like a chocolate cake add in 3 tbsp cocoa powder, you can also make peanut butte)

unsalted butter, mirliton, peeled and cut into 1-inch thick slices or 1 (7 lb green pumpkin) *see note, vegetable oil, chopped yellow onions, chopped garlic, salt, freshly ground black pepper, shrimp, peeled and deveined, lump crabmeat , picked over for shells and cartilage, chopped green onions, chopped fresh parsley, gruyere , or mozzarella, finely grated, cooks note: any type of bland squash can be substituted for the mirliton or green pumpkin in this recipe (merlitons, yellow squash, or zucchini) long green italian squashes would work great too. regular pumpkins can also be used (not the kind for pie, but the big, bland ones more often used for jack o lanterns). butternut or acorn squash does not work with this recipe. the original recipe uses 1 (7 lb) green pumpkin., cooks note: any type of bland squash can be substituted for the mirliton or green pumpkin in this recipe (merlitons, yellow squash, or zucchini) long green italian squashes would work great too. regular pumpkins can also be used (not the kind for pie, but the big, bland ones more often used for jack o lanterns). butternut or acorn squash does not work with this recipe. the original recipe uses 1 (7 lb) green pumpkin.