24 sunday chili with Recipes

monday, breakfast - who can eat breakfast on a monday swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth, lunch - send your secretary out for six gutbombers those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. also serving french fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle of maalox., afternoon snack - drink the maalox, dinner - six pack of beer and kentucky fried chicken three-piece dinner, don tsp eat the coleslaw., tuesday, breakfast - eat the coleslaw, lunch - go to the office vending machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea., dinner - four tacos and a pitcher of sangria., wednesday, breakfast - jaws couldn tsp eat breakfast after a night out ., lunch - rolaids and a coke, dinner - drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps, thursday, breakfast - serving out for pizza, lunch - your secretary is out sick , check mondays gutbomber sack for leftovers., dinner - go to a bar and drink yourself silly, when you get hungry ask the bartender for olives., friday, breakfast - eggs , sausage, and an english muffin at mcdonalds. eat the styrofoam plate and leave the food. it tastes better and it s better for you., lunch - skip lunch , fridays are murder, dinner - steak , well-done, baked potato, and asparagus. don tsp eat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus., saturday, breakfast - sleep through it ., lunch - ditto, dinner - steak , well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts. dont eat the brussel sprouts. take them home and plant them in a hanging basket., sunday, breakfast - three bloody marys and half a twinkie., lunch - eat lunch waste a good buzz dont eat lunch ., dinner - chicken noodle soup - call a girl... called friend ... and ask her about renting a room, if that fails....there s always your mom, feed them ...and...they shall come

butt ham (6-7 lb) - which has sat out of refrigerator for 30 minutes at least. you will want the chill off of the ham., glaze, maple syrup, dark brown sugar, orange juice, salt, jerk seasonings, dry mustard, dijon mustard, honey, cinnamon, garlic powder (not salt), red chili flakes, balsamic syrup (yes condensed balsamic vinegar - available at fine food stores or places like turcos and trader joe s), have any balsamic vinegar - use 2 tbsp balsamic vinegar instead ), duck sauce (or 5 packets of from your last time you went for chinese take out), worcestershire sauce, equipment needed, roasting pan , tin foil (optional for easier cleaning), bowl, spoon, knife, 1 working oven at 325, 1 lazy sunday afternoon with a crowd to feed.

olive oil, yellow onion, minced, carrot, minced, garlic cloves, minced, ground chuck, ground pork shoulder, red chili pepper flakes, parsley, minced, salt, ground black pepper, egg, breadcrumbs, brewed coffee, bourbon, brown sugar, soy sauce, ketchup, worcestershire sauce