4 made thing Recipes

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

two slices bread-i favor cracked wheat ., egg made into egg salad (directions below ), pastrami (cold ), tomato, handful very thin sliced lettuce iceberg, very thin sliced onion (optional, but i usually put it on , forgot, dum), prepared horseradish, mayonnaise, mustard very little (forgot to put it on the bread, dum again), thing to add to the egg salad for this sandwich or just an egg salad sandwich is chopped olives. if you have never done this, the chopped olives you can buy in the little can are just awesome to me in the salad. yummmmmmmmmmmm, i always serving this sandwich at delis. 1 deli shop put it on as a daily special and it became the favorite daily special., this sandwich is based on the egg salad. another combination is using roast beef .

apple tartin, quick cooked tart it is called an apple tartin and is very simple and beautiful. my daughter has made this for school and she never brings any back, plus she always has a large number of requests for the recipe. this depends on the size of the saute pan you use. i start with about a 10 pan well coated with no stick pam and i use about 2 sliced apples, about a 1/2 to 1/4 thick (i like granny smith, but use what you like). i then melt unsalted butter and enough brown sugar to cover bottom of the pan and make a thick syrup after it cooks. i thin put the apples into the syrup and cook a few minutes so they get coated good with the syrup., i over lay the apples or shingle them is the tech term in a round circle like a huge sun flower design or something that works for you, be creative! i then use bought flake pastry dough and put on top of the apples enough to cover completely and make an edge on the outside of the tart. you can roll the dough at the edge make a little design in it to close the edge or just leave the edge open but in a round shape no rough edges.then i put in the oven and brown the pastry dough. when it is done (doesn tsp take long to cook) i have a large plate that i put over the saute pan and invert so the whole thing comes out with the, apples on top and the crust on bottom. i then coat with my simple water and sugar syrup ( recipe above) for a shiny coat and then i serve with cool whip or ice cream. 1 thing i forgot . you will have a center hole the apples you can cut a round shape ot of the apple or fill with cool whip, but if you can cut the top of the apple with the stem intact it looks nice in the hole. i have used cookie dough for this recipe and it works , but the pastry works best for me.