29 glad said Recipes

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

farfalle pasta, yellow summer squash, cut into 1-in. chunks, zucchini , halved lengthwise and cut into 1-in. chunks, olive oil, divided, salt (my addition), champagne vinegar, freshly ground pepper, chopped fresh oregano, toasted pine nuts, chopped pitted kalamata olives (michael also said that it might be better to leave the olives whole)

whiskey cake. enough said, some cakes are made with traditional ingredients such as nuts and fruit, and others are made with, let s say, odd ingredients -- mayonnaise, sauerkraut or ketchup. today we re featuring a whiskey cake. whiskey may not be your cup of tea, but this type of cake is very popular in some parts of the country. and of course there are different versions -- irish whiskey cake, chocolate whiskey cake, tennessee whiskey cake and tipsy cake., version is made with a packaged pineapple cake mix. chopped nuts, instant pudding and maraschino cherries are added to the batter., finishing touch is the whiskey-butter syrup , which is poured over the hot cake. this cake is lush and moist. and the whiskey flavor is not overpowering. try it -- you ll love it

fresh cold water, see note 2, whole beans , or 6 tbsp ground beans, see note 1, note 1: this is more than most instructions specify. fresh-roasted dark , oily beans, i.e., french, italian, or espresso, are preferable, note 2: spring or filtered water is best. that said, i use tap water.

hot dogs, your choice, hot dog buns, your choice, mustard, swiss cheese, sliced in half, kraut, chili, chopped onions, jalapenos, forks on stand-by, lots of napkins

bread flour, yeast, wheat flour, sugar, salt, dried herb (thyme or mixed italian or herbes de provence-- i added more), water (i used some of the liquid from the container of olives along with the ), olive oil, pitted and chopped olives (recipe said black, i used a mixture from the supermarket olive bar and made it 1/2 cup,and varied the size of the pieces so there would be a few big chunks)

your favorite cake mix, eggs, mayo (i ve never used anything else!), like i said , be creative! use your favorite flavor of cake mix and add 1 cup of chocolate chips, marshino cherries, peanut butter chips....the combinations are endless! (i ve done orange cake/white choc. chips, spice cake/raisins, chocolate fudge cake/marshino cherries, lemon cake/lemon frosting...you get the idea!)