74729 elaine cut christmas Recipes

christmas with louise, as a joke , my brother, jay, used to hang a pair of panty hose over his fireplace before christmas. he said all he wanted was for santa to fill them., what they say about santa reviewing behavior and checking the list twice must be true because every christmas morning, although jay s kids stockings overflowed, his poor pantyhose hung sadly empty., year i decided to make his dream come true. i put on sunglasses and with a hat pulled down and went in search of an inflatable love doll. they don tsp sell those things at walmart., i had to go to an adult bookstore downtown. if you ve never been in an x-rated store, don tsp go. you ll only confuse yourself. i was there an hour saying things like, what does this do you re kidding me! who would buy that finally, i made it to the inflatable doll section. i wanted to buy a standard, uncomplicated doll that could also substitute as a passenger in my car so i could use the car pool lane, during rush hour. finding what i wanted was difficult. love dolls come in many different models. the top of the line , according to the side of the box, could do things i d only seen in a book on animal husbandry. i settled for lovable louise. she was at the bottom of the price scale. to call louise a doll took a huge leap of imagination., on christmas eve , with the help of an old bicycle pump, louise came to life., my sister-in-law was in on the plan and let me in during the wee morning hours, long after santa had come and gone, i filled the dangling pantyhose with louise s pliant legs and bottom. i also ate some cookies and drank what remained of a glass of milk on a nearby tray. i went home, and giggled for a couple of hours., next morning my brother called to say that santa had been to his house and left a present that had made him very happy but had left the dog confused. she would bark, start to walk away, then come back and bark some more. we all agreed that louise should remain in her panty hose so the rest of the family could admire her when they came over for the traditional christmas dinner., my grandmother noticed louise the moment she walked in the door. what the hell is that she asked. my brother quickly explained , it s a doll. . who would play with something like that granny snapped. i had several candidates in mind, but kept my mouth shut. where are her clothes granny continued., boy , that turkey sure smells nice, gran, jay said, trying to steer her into the dining room. but granny was relentless. why doesn tsp she have any teeth again, i could have answered, but why would i it was christmas and no 1 wanted to ride in the back of the ambulance saying, hang on granny! hang on! ., my grandfather , a delightful old man with very poor eyesight, sidled up to me and said, hey, who s the naked gallon by the fireplace i told him she was jay s friend. a few minutes later i noticed grandpa by the mantel, talking to louise. not just talking, but actually flirting. it was then that we realized this might be grandpa s last christmas at home., dinner went well. we made the usual small talk about who had died , who was dying, and who should be killed, when suddenly louise made a noise that sounded a lot like my father in the bathroom in the morning. then she lurched from the panty hose, flew around the room twice, and fell in a heap in front of the sofa. the cat screamed. i passed cranberry sauce through my nose, and grandpa ran across the room, fell to his knees, and began administering mouth to mouth resuscitation. my brother fell back over his chair and wet his pants laughing and granny threw down her napkin, stomped out of the room, and sat in the car., it was indeed a christmas to treasure and remember. later in my brother s garage, we conducted a thorough examination to decide the cause of louise s collapse. we discovered that louise had suffered from a hot ember to the back of her right thigh. fortunately, thanks to a wonder drug called duct tape , we restored her to perfect health., louise went on to star in several bachelor party movies. i think grandpa still asks about her whenever he can get out of the house

cooked turkey breast or thigh, skin on, cut into chunks, sized raw potato, cut into chunks, shallots, finely sliced, garlic, finely chopped, turnip, cut into chunks, shredded raw carrot, raw green or wax beans, raw asparagus, salt and pepper to taste, oregano, pure vanilla, dijon mustard, worcestershire sauce, chicken or turkey stock, rice flour, phyllo pastry

crinkly leaf lettuce, baby carrots , cut battonette, celery , cut battonette, baby cucumbers, sliced long and oval, radishes , jagged-cut to resemble flowers, cooked jumbo shrimp, green onions, orange, red and yellow pepper, cut in rounds, parsley (for garnish , optional)

lean ground beef, freshly picked, carrots, celery, green sweet peppers, tomatoes, onions, chives, garlic, cut veggies coarsely, salt, dried oregano, worcestershire sauce, kikkoman reduced salt soy sauce, extra virgin olive oil, dried lemon zest or 1 tsp fresh

red salmon, butter for spreading, whole lemon, peeled and cut thinly into slices, green onions, finely chopped, baby red onion, finely chopped, zesty italian salad dressing, leaves romaine lettuce , trimmed of center leaf vein, tortillas , whole wheat

brown rice, chicken stock, lemon, kikkoman soy sauce (to me, this brand is the cadillac!), canola oil, butter, sized carrots, finely cut, sized onion, finely chopped, stalk celery, finely chopped, fresh or frozen peas, red pepper (sweet) finely chopped, garlic, finely minced, fresh chives, finely chopped (or 3 tbsp dried ), chinese five-spice mixture, vanilla extract, rice flour, egg, salt and pepper to taste

cooked lamb , coarsely cut. reserve the bones, raw potatoes , medium sized, coarsely chopped, carrots, coarsely chopped, approx 1/2 cup dried onions, or 1 cup fresh, chicken broth. it s equivalent equals two boxes of ready-made , store-bought broth in the 900 ml tetri-packs if you have no homemade broth or stock, salt . (for no recipe, use 1 tsp of mccormicks no added citrus pepper ), raw barley, dry red wine

christmas plum pudding or 200 g christmas cake, brandy, icing sugar, egg white, dragees (silver balls)

all purpose flour, sugar, salt, chilled unsalted butter, cut into 1/2-inch cubes, chilled nonhydrogenated solid vegetable shortening, cut into 1/2-inch cubes, more) ice water, granny smith apples (1 1/4 lb total), peeled, cored, cut into 1/2-inch cubes (about 4 cups), firm but ripe medium anjou or bartlett pears (about 18 oz), peeled, cored, cut into 1/2-inch cubes (about 2 1/2 cups), assorted moist plump dried fruit (such as raisins, cherries, and diced apricots), orange marmalade, divided, sugar, divided, grated peeled fresh ginger, ground ginger, nonstick vegetable-oil spray, vanilla ice cream or sweetened whipped cream

cinnamon sticks, 4-inch, bay leaves, lemon, cut in half, orange, cut in half, water

green cabbage, cut into large pieces, baby carrots, onions , wedged, potatoes, sliced, cooked ham, cut (leftovers ), low-fat chicken broth, crushed pineapple , including juice

real milk chocolate chips (or dark, if you prefer ), white almond bark, cut into small (1-inch), marshmallows, crisp rice cereal, salted peanuts or 1 cup un, red maraschino cherries, drained, and cut in half, green glazed cherries, drained and quartered, angel flake coconut, oil

christmas plum pudding, milk, double cream, vanilla ice cream, brandy

christmas honey fruit drops, mixed chopped candied fruits and peels , chopped candied cherries, raisins, and chopped pecans, bourbon, brown sugar, honey, butter or margarine, eggs, all purpose flour, baking soda, ground cinnamon, ground nutmeg, baking powder, dairy sour cream, combine fruits , nuts, and bourbon. cover, let stand several hours. in mixer bowl cream sugar, honey, and butter or margarine. beat in eggs. mix dry ingredients. add to creamed mixture alternately with sour cream. stir fruit mixture into creamed mixture. drop by tsp onto greased cookie sheet. bake in 350 degree oven for 10 to 12 minutes. cool on wire rack. frost, if desired. makes about 5 dozen cookies.

white wine vinegar, minced fresh rosemary leaves, fresh lemon juice (about 1/2 a large lemon), garlic , smashed, peeled and minced, zest of 1 large lemon, extra-virgin olive oil, kosher salt, freshly ground black pepper, kosher salt, green beans, trimmed and halved crosswise, carrots, peeled and sliced diagonally into 1/3-inch-thick ovals, cauliflower, cut into florets (about 4 cups), dry white wine, cod fillets, cut into 1 1/2-inch cubes, clams , such as manilla, scrubbed, extra-large shrimp, peeled and deveined, twelve 1/3-inch-thick slices country-style bread (such as pan rustique), toasted, cooked beets, cut into 6 to 8 wedges, lemon wedges

eggplant, peeled and cut into chunks (10 -12-inch long), onion, chopped, red bell pepper, chopped, garlic cloves, minced, zucchini, cut into chunks (6-inch long), roma tomatoes, chopped, olive oil, seasoned dipping oil or 1/4 cup other seasoned oil, red wine vinegar, salt, pepper, shredded mozzarella cheese (optional)

soft butter or 1/2 cup soft margarine, brown sugar, egg, vanilla extract, all-purpose flour, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, chopped dates, candied cherry, cut in pieces, candied pineapple slice, cut in pieces, chopped walnuts or 1/2 cup chopped pecans, almonds