monday |
breakfast - who can eat breakfast on a monday swallow some toothpaste while brushing your teeth |
lunch - send your secretary out for six gutbombers those little hamburgers that used to cost a dime but now cost sixty five cents. also order french fries, a bowl of chili, a soft drink and have her stop on the way back for a family size bottle of maalox. |
afternoon snack - drink the maalox |
dinner - six pack of beer and kentucky fried chicken three-piece dinner, don't eat the coleslaw. |
tuesday |
breakfast - eat the coleslaw |
lunch - go to the office vending machine and put ninety five cents in and close your eyes, push a button and eat whatever comes out swallowing it whole to prevent nausea. |
dinner - four tacos and a pitcher of sangria. |
wednesday |
breakfast - jaws couldn't eat breakfast after a night out. |
lunch - rolaids and a coke |
dinner - drop in at a married friends house and beg for scraps |
thursday |
breakfast - order out for pizza |
lunch - your secretary is out sick, check mondays gutbomber sack for leftovers. |
dinner - go to a bar and drink yourself silly, when you get hungry ask the bartender for olives. |
friday |
breakfast - eggs, sausage, and an english muffin at mcdonalds. eat the styrofoam plate and leave the food. it tastes better and it's better for you. |
lunch - skip lunch, fridays are murder |
dinner - steak, well-done, baked potato, and asparagus. don't eat the asparagus, nobody really likes asparagus. |
saturday |
breakfast - sleep through it. |
lunch - ditto |
dinner - steak, well done, baked potato, and brussel sprouts. dont eat the brussel sprouts. take them home and plant them in a hanging basket. |
sunday |
breakfast - three bloody marys and half a twinkie. |
lunch - eat lunch waste a good buzz dont eat lunch. |
dinner - chicken noodle soup - call a girl...'called friend'... and ask her about renting a room |
'and |
if that fails....there's always your mom |
' feed them...and...they shall come |
