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Prep Time: 0 Minutes Cook Time: 35 Minutes |
Ready In: 35 Minutes Servings: 4 |
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~NO APPLES...but,wait,things are not always black or white,there are always two sides to every story in....'THE GARDEN OF EDEN' Ingredients:
pastry for two crust 9 pie |
36...no,no,not 35... ritz crackers |
2 cups water |
2 cups sugar |
2 teaspoons cream of tartar |
2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice |
grated rind..no white please...of one lemon |
butter |
cinnamon |
fit one crust in pie plate. |
coarsely crush ritz crackers into crust. |
combine water,sugar and cream of tartar in pan,boil gently for 15 minutes. |
add lemon juice and rind,cool. |
pour syrup over cracker,dot generously with butter,sprinkle cinnamon. |
cover with top crust,trim,flute edges,cut slits in top or place pie bird in center,allowing steam to escape. |
bake at 425 degrees for 30 to 35 minutes,or until crust is golden . |
'slice,serve warm with tahitian vanilla bean ice cream,infused with madagascar vanilla...oh,okay! blue bell vanilla will do just fine. |
Directions:
1. If Eve had'nt Presented...
2. If Adam had'nt Bitten...
3. Sealing generation upon generation to his fate.
4. The Eve's of this world don't just shop for apples,you know!
5. First Stop:
6. New York,that beautiful 'green mile' called Fifth Avenue.Grab you skates and a Manhatten Adam,your going to need it.This trip can drive one good God Created Creature to drink.Relax,pick up the New York Times,you may have to sale some stocks...BREATH!,BREATH!!...Maybe the Knicks are playing...I'm sure she won't drag you kicking and screaming to a Broadway Play,wearing the grown from Sak's and that shiny bobble that was calling her name in Tiffany's. Can you speak Prada Adam?...Eve,sure can!
7. Second Stop:
8. Paris,Avenue Montaigne 'The City of Love' Before your beloved strips you of ever thread that you own,and then some, Adam.You must take a nice walk down that river 'Seine'...NO!,NO!!...DON'T JUMP!! Remember Paris is known for romance,who knows who you might see strolling past the Eiffle Tower,saying to yourself, I'll show her.I'll do a little shopping of my own. ...Sorry Adam,she has the keys to the cars,keys to the houses,and the keys to your heart...So,cool your Jets,set, and bite into that French Pastry...Auh!,Auh!!,Auh!!! Adam,the confectionary kind...I heard you thinking.
9. Third Stop:
10. London England,Bond Street.Did you bring the Pounds Adam? You know,POUNDS and POUNDS of currency.Maybe you can plee your case to Parliament,or,'YOUR MAJESTY EVE',the one you would'nt mind playing Henry the VIII to about right now...and,no,you don't look like a sissy in that Kilt,in fact,you look kind of cute.After all, it was your fault saying you thought 'Big Ben' did not have the correct time,causing her to dash to Asprey for that $50,000 watch.
11. Forth Stop:
12. Milan Italy,La Rinascente.You tell youself that you need some luck to get back home financially soluble,as you strategically place your foot on the Bull of Turin,spinning three times.Did your luck change??...Nope,Eve is the fan that fuels those flames...your cooked...stick a fork in ya'...Your done for. Looking skyward,you mutter, Good Lord,HELP ME! You open your eyes,only to be reminded that perhaps this just might be YOUR 'Last Supper'...Darn, that Leonardo da Vinci!
13. Fifth Stop:
14. California,Beverly Hills,Rodeo Drive...Sun and Fun...You just think your seeing 'STARS' as she rushes past you hitting you in the head with her Gucci bag.
15. Sixth Stop:
16. By now Adam,your feeling a little woosy,your visualizing your next drink out of a brown paper bag...HOMELESS...In which without ' The Magnificent Mile' in Chicago Tiffany,Versace,Louis Vuitton,and Neiman Marcus would be homeless as well,and you don't want that to be on your conscience,do you Adam??....WAIT! WAIT!! Don't strike that match,Adam.Mrs O'Leary can only be blamed once.You might as well give up the ghost,grab a slice of pizza,a hot dog,and set a spell,this trip may take a while.Look at the bright side...Maybe the Cubs are playing...Hang in there Adam,it's almost over...Not only did God create' Six Days of Shopping',he also created 'One Day of Rest'...or...DID HE??
17. Last Stop:
18. HOME!...HOME!!!! AT LAST!!!!
19. You step from the 'Utica' kiss the ground,wipe the sweat from your brow,check your pockets,point you finger in her direction,exclaiming in that...'Me Man,You Woman'voice... I'll Exile you to Iceland,if you do that again!! She gives you one of those smiles,a hug,a kiss on the cheek,and says Okay,I'll bake you a Pie when I get back With her Birkin Bag in hand,she steps onto 'Utica II' ,turns,waves,and flies straight to Laugavegur,Reykjavik Iceland.
20. Won't you ever learn...Eve just could'nt be seen in Last Years Leaf!
21. ~ 'RIBBING ADAM'~
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